M-Islamic Manner
1. Depression – Down Way of Life : don’t
2. Drinking,
Smoking and Drugs : don’t
3. Cyber
Space Addiction: don’t
4.
Dislikes parents: don’t
5. Staying
Out Too Late: don’t
30).
Common Bed behaviour Do’s OR Don’ts:
1. Communication
Devices Rule: Phone & MySpace and Facebook. Don’t.
2. Staying out Late
dont
3. Hanging
Out: children can wear weird clothes, pierce their lips, teens who skip
school and do drugs. Don’t
4. Everything's a
Drama: he sobs or shouts or slams the door. Don’t.
1. Staying Aloof:
2. Addiction to Social
Media and Electronic Gadgets: don’t
3. Breaking Rules
Constantly:
4. Falling Prey To Bad
Company:
5. Over Sensitiveness to
Surroundings:
6. Lying For Self Defense:
don’t
7. Lack of Decision Making
Skills:
8. Increase in
Anger/Aggression: don’t
9. Lack of Seriousness
towards Life:
10. Frequent Use of
Swearing Words: don’t
Respecting Parents :
We should always respect our parents.
Allah, the Most High, says in the Qur’aan:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that
you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age
in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but
address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and
humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as
they did bring me up when I was small.”[14]
Narrated Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah (may Allaah be pleased with him)
came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) and said:
“O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go and fight (in jihad) and I
have come to consult you.”
He said, “Do you have a mother?”
He said, “Yes.”
He said, “Stay with her for Paradise is at her feet.”[15]
26).
The
important of Parents:
When asked about the people who taught us the most, who were there
for us through hardships, who laughed with us during the good times, who put up
with us on our off days, most of us think immediately of our parents. And it is
true: our parents are the ones who have been with us through almost everything
in our lives. Our mothers carry us for nine grueling months before we are born,
and for at least eighteen years afterwards, our parents, to list a few things,
take care of us, teach us, help us, and provide for us financially and academically.
Without them, most of us would not be in the places we are today.
Unfortunately, however, many people do not treat their parents in
the manner they deserve. Teenagers fight relentlessly with their parents, often
over extremely trivial topics. Other young people ignore their parents, rather
spending time with their friends or online. As we get older, we tend to forget
that our parents are growing older as well, and they are pushed aside to living
on their own or in nursing homes while we start our own families. Not only is
this disregard unfair to our parents, it is also strictly forbidden in Islam.
God has commanded us to treat out parents with utmost respect, no matter the
situation we are in.
Respecting parents is one of the most significant aspects of
Islam. God says in the Quran:
Your Lord has decreed that
you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both
of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor
repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (17:23)
The first decree in this verse is to worship none but God.
This is the first and most important pillar of Islam, and enjoining partners
with God is the only unforgivable sin. The order right after this is kindness
to parents. There are other major sins in Islam that could have been mentioned
here, but the one God has forbidden us against here is disrespect to parents.
We are told not to speak contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is
“oof,” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead, God has told
us to address them with honor and deference.
The next verse tells
us: “And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say:
‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’” (17:24).
The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” has been
interpreted as an image of the way birds spread their wings out of protection
and love for their young. Our treatment of our parents is shown in the same
way: we should be humble, respectful, and loving towards them.
Moreover, the prayer in this verse (“My Lord! Bestow on them
your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood”) is extremely powerful,
and many scholars say that Muslims should say this after every prayer. It is
truly a beautiful prayer, as we are asking God to bestow mercy on our parents,
as they were merciful to us when we were young.
Holding one’s parents in high esteem is so important that, even if
they tell us not to obey God’s command, we are still to treat them kindly. God
says in the Quran,
But if they strive to make
you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them
not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration). (31:15)
Even if our parents strive to make us commit the worst act in
Islam, we must still treat them with justice. There is no concept of leaving
our parents in Islam, even if they are disbelievers. To further elaborate this
point, there is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (pbuh),
narrated by Asma, the daughter of the Prophet’s good friend, Abu Bakr. Asma
once asked the Prophet (pbuh) how she should treat her mother, who was a
polytheist. The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Treat your mother well.”
While we should obviously respect both our parents, our mothers
are given special treatment in Islam. This is because our mothers carried us
for nine months, and were our primary caregivers when we were children. In one
saying of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), a companion asked him who deserves the
most good treatment and respect. The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Your mother.” The
companion asked again, and again the reply was “Your mother.” The companion
asked a third time, and once more the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Your mother.” When
the companion asked for the last time, the Prophet (pbuh) then answered, “Your
father.”
Our mothers deserve the
utmost respect and good treatment, and there is no excuse otherwise. We are
told this three times over. In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
said that paradise lies under the feet of the mother. This further reiterates
the fact that our mothers are to be the most revered and cared for people in
our lives. In yet another saying, we are told that a man did the entire
pilgrimage, Hajj, with his elderly mother on his back. The Prophet Muhammad
(pbuh) told him that this did not even repay his mother for a single kick the
man gave his mother while she was bearing him in the womb.
This is not to say that our fathers do not deserve respect. The
story of Prophet Abraham (pbuh) in the Quran tells us that his father was ready
to kill him for destroying religious idols and abandoning the pagan religion.
Abraham, instead of losing control, merely prayed to God to have mercy on his
father and to help him find the truth. Many youth today shout obscenities if
their fathers give them a stern lecture. From our prophet we learn that this is
never acceptable, no matter the situation.
Finally, there are many ways to fix our relationships with our
parents. First and foremost, of course, we must recall the importance our
parents have in our lives, and the various verses that remind us to be kind to
them. There are also many sayings from the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that teach
us how to act with them. In one narration, he likened caring for parents to
fighting for the cause of God, the best deed a Muslim can do in his life. In
another, we are told that smiling kindly at our parents is as though we have
done the pilgrimage to Mecca, the Hajj. We should make it a habit to do these
small things in our daily lives. Talking to our parents on a day-to-day basis,
no matter our age, is also a way to close any gaps we may have with them.
Lastly, it is always important to remember to pray for our parents. We have
been told that several people’s prayers will always be answered, and among
these is the child’s prayer for their parents.
May God help us all to be more respectful to our parents.
27).
A. Introduction:
There are many days set aside in non-Islamic
societies to honour and appreciate special people; examples of these are
Father's Day, Mother's Day, Memorial Day and Labour Day. In Islam, however,
respecting, honouring and appreciating parents is not just for a single day of
the year, but rather for each and every day.
B. Parents in the Quran:
A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his
or her parents on a daily basis. Allah mentions that human beings must
recognise their parents and that this is second only to the recognition of
Allah Himself. Throughout the Quran, we notice that parents are mentioned with
appreciation and respect, even if they are senile. In the Quran, there is a
very beautiful description of how parents are to be treated; Allah Says (what
means): "And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him,
and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age
[while] with you, say not to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of
irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble
word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: 'My Lord!
Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" [Quran
17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is
mentioned in the Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children
to recognise and to appreciate the love and care that they have received from
their parents. One such example is when Allah says what means: "And
We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents…" [Quran
29:8 & 46:15]
1. The demand for recognising parents
is made more emphatic when Allah Says (what means): "And
[recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [enjoining upon
them]: 'Do not worship except Allah; and to parents, do good…'" [Quran
2:83]
2. Allaah again emphasises in chapter
An-Nisaa' that children should be kind to their parents. He says what
means: "Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents
do good..." [Quran 4:36]
3. In Chapter Al-An'aam, Allah reemphasises
that people should be kind to their parents; He says what means: "Say:
'Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that
you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment...'" [Quran
6:151]
C. Mothers:
Although Islam recognises both parents, mothers
are given particular gratitude and respect. This can be appreciated if we
reflect upon the hardships and suffering that mothers experience in their
lives. In this regard, there is a Hadeeth of the Prophet 
: It was narrated by Abu
Hurayrah 
that
a man came to the Prophet and asked him: 'Who is most deserving of my
close companionship?' He replied: “Your mother; your mother; your
mother; then your father; then the next closest to you in kinship; then the one
next closest.”
: It was narrated by Abu
Hurayrah that
a man came to the Prophet and asked him: 'Who is most deserving of my
close companionship?' He replied: “Your mother; your mother; your
mother; then your father; then the next closest to you in kinship; then the one
next closest.”
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their
children, even if the parents are non-Muslims. If parents strive to convert
their children to non-Islamic beliefs, the children should not obey them, but
must still maintain goodness towards them. In this regard, Allah says what
means: "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His
mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning
is two years. Be grateful to Me and your parents; to Me is the [final]
destination. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which
you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with
appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in
repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what
you used to do." [Quran 31:14-15]
D. More Respect:
Islam teaches us that of the most beloved deeds
to Allah, having respect for one's parents is second only to that of prayer and
is greater than that of Jihaad (fighting in His cause). In this respect, Abu
'Abdur-Rahmaan 'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood narrated
the following: "I asked the Prophet : 'Which deed is the most beloved to Allah?'
He replied: "Prayers performed on
time." I then asked: 'Which one is next?' He replied: "Goodness to
parents." I then asked: 'Which is next?' He replied: "Jihaad in the
path of Allah.""
narrated
the following: "I asked the Prophet : 'Which deed is the most beloved to Allah?'
He replied: "Prayers performed on
time." I then asked: 'Which one is next?' He replied: "Goodness to
parents." I then asked: 'Which is next?' He replied: "Jihaad in the
path of Allah.""
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that
the child and his wealth are considered to be the property of the parents:
`Aa’ishah 
narrated
that a man came to the Prophet in order to resolve a dispute that he had
with his father regarding a loan he had given him. The Prophet said to the man: "You
and your wealth are to (i.e., the property of) your father."
narrated
that a man came to the Prophet in order to resolve a dispute that he had
with his father regarding a loan he had given him. The Prophet said to the man: "You
and your wealth are to (i.e., the property of) your father."
E. Final Remarks:
We hope and pray that all of us will respect our
parents while they are alive and after their death. One can honour his parents
after their death through the following methods:
1.
Performing daily Du'aa' (supplication) for them.
2.
Giving charity on their behalf.
3.
Instituting a perpetual charity on their behalf, such as a mosque, an Islamic
Centre, an Islamic library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, etc.
4.
Performing Hajj on their behalf, or asking someone to do so.
5.
Distributing Islamic literature on their behalf.
Let us pray to Allah that we do our best to
respect our parents, honour them, be kind to them, assist them, and please them
so that we may attain the love of Allah.
O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us
obedient slaves to You.
O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to
our parents. Aameen.
28).
Teachings of the Holy
Prophet (S.A.W.) - How to Behave with Parents:
Teachings
of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) - How to Behave with Parents
The Importance of Obedience to Your Parents
Parents are to be
treated well at all times, and The Almighty's blessings in having enabled you
to do this virtuous act, be considered as a great asset in this world as well
as in the Hereafter. The respect we ought to pay our parents has been time and
again emphasized in the Holy Qur'an. In one of the verses it is stated:
"Thy Lord hath
decreed that ye worship none but Him, and ye be kind to your parents."
(Qur'an 17:23)
Showing Gratitude towards Parents
Be grateful to your
parents. It is one of the cardinal principles of good manners and the
acknowledgement of debt. One should be grateful to the parents for all the
kindness, extraordinary love, and unparalleled sacrifices hey undergo in
bringing us up. The Almighty has decreed that when we render thanks to Him, we
should express gratitude to our parents as well.
"And we have
enjoined on man (To be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his
mother bear him. And in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), 'Show
gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.'" (Qur'an
31:14)
On the authority of
Hazrat Abu Ayub Khalid Ibun Zaid Al-Ansari(R.A.), who said: A man requested;
"Prophet (S.A.W)! Tell me the action which will get me admitted to
Paradise and keep me away from the Hell." He answered: "Worship
Almighty and do not associate anybody with Him: establish Prayer; pay Zakat and
join the ties of kinship." -(Bukhari and Muslim)
On the authority of Abu
Sufian Sakhr Harb (R.A.), who said: During his meeting with Hercules, the Roman
Ruler, the latter asked him; 'What does your Prophet (S.A.W.) ask you to do?' I
said: 'He asked us to worship only One God, and not to associate anybody with
him; not to follow the habits and practices of our ancestors; he further asks
us to perform prayers (Salat), tell the truth, keep chaste, and to treat our
blood relations well.' -(Bukhari and Muslim)
Note: "Not to
follow the habits and practices of our ancestors" means that in previous
times, people used to follow what their parents did; such as, worshiping idols,
stealing, killing, and committing other sins Because their ancestors sinned,
people assumed it was justified. The Prophet (S.A.W.) commanded them to change
their behavior and become more righteous.
On the authority of Ibn
'Umar (R.A.), who said: The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: "He who just returns
the visits of his relatives does not completely fulfill the obligation of
relationship. But he who ignores the mistakes of his relatives, forgives them,
and visits them in order to bind the ties of relationship when they are broken
does fulfill the obligations of relationship.' -(Bukhari)
On the authority of
Jubair bin Mut'im (R.A.), who said: The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: "He who
breaks off the ties of blood will not enter Paradise." -(Bukhari and
Muslim)
Note: This Hadith
preaches the person who breaks off relations with his family by not visiting
them or helping them will not go to Paradise.
On the authority of Abu
Usaid Malik Ibn Rubia Al-Saedi (R.A), who said: While we were sitting with the
Prophet (S.A.W.) a man of the Bani Salamah tribe came and said: "O Prophet
(S.A.W.)! Is there anything, I can now do in benevolence towards my parents
after their death? The Prophet (S.A.W.) answered: "Yes, by praying for
them and soliciting mercy and forgiveness towards them, fulfilling their
promises and undertakings, doing kindness to those who may be related to you
through them, and respecting their friends." -(Abu Daoud)
Note:
"Benevolence" means kindness.
Showing Tolerance towards Parents
You should always try to
please your parents and avoid deeds that may hurt their feelings, especially
when they get old and short-tempered.
In old age people do
tend to make unusual demands and claims but it should be tolerated cheerfully
without any retort in anger or frustration. It is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an:
"Thy Lord hath
decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether
one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of
contempt, nor repel them but address them, in terms of honor." (Qur'an
17:23)
Service of Parents
Parents should be served
earnestly and with sincerity; always keeping in mind the unparalleled kindness
and affection shown by them. It is the service of our parents that would lead
to our redemption and earn for us The Almighty's blessings.
Your Love and Obligation towards Your Parents
Love your parents and
this love should be regarded as an honor and means of recompense and redemption
in the Hereafter. Hadrat Ibn Abbas narrates the following Hadith of the Holy Prophet
(PBUH):
"Dutiful and good
natured children who cast one loving and affectionate look at their parents,
receive from The Almighty blessing equivalent to one approved Hajj
(pilgrimage)." -(Muslim)
When the Parents are Non-Muslims
Even if the parents are
non-Muslims, they are to be treated well and all courtesy be shown to them. But
obedience in matters of religion should be refused and they are not to be
followed if they ask you to commit a sin or an act of associating somebody with
The Almighty. It is stated in the Holy Qur'an:
"We have enjoined
on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee
to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey
them not, ye have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all
that ye did." (Qur'an 29:8)
Prayers for Parents
Always pray for your
parents, recalling their kindness and beg for their weal from The Almighty and
His Mercies for them. It is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an:
"And, out of
kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on
them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (Qur'an 17:24)
Special Treatment of the Mother
One should have special
regard for his/her mother. It is the mother that carries the fetus in her womb
for nine months and then nourishes the child with her milk. It is stated in the
Holy Qur'an:
"We have enjoined
on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain
did she give him birth." (Qur'an 46:15)
On the authority of
Asma'a bint Abu Bakr Al- Siddiq (R.A.), who said; "My mother came to
Medina from Mecca to see me, while she was still an unbeliever. She had come to
demand something from me. I inquired with the Prophet (S.A.W.): 'My mother has
come to see me and she is expecting something from me. May I oblige her?' He
said: 'Yes, be kind to your mother.'" -(Bukhari and Muslim)
Note: This Hadith has
two main points:
1. Be kind to your parents, no matter what their
religion is.
2. A Muslim must be kind to other people no matter
what their religion is. For example: The Prophet Mohammed (S.A.W) used to visit
his Jewish neighbors in Medina. Also the Prophet (S.A.W) used to give charity
to his poor Jewish neighbor.
On the Authority of Abu
Hurairah (R.A.),who said: A man asked the Messenger of God (S.A.W.) who amongst
his near ones had the greatest right over him, the Prophet (S.A.W.) replied:
"Your mother". He asked, "Then who is next?" The Prophet
(S.A.W.) replied: "Your mother". He again asked, "Then who is
next?" The Prophet (S.A.W.) replied: "Your mother". He asked:
"Then who is next?" The Prophet replied: "Your father."
-(Bukhari and Muslim)
On the authority of
Al-Mughirah (R.A.), who said: The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: "God forbids all
of you to disobey your mothers." -(Bukhari and Muslim)
Note: It is very
important to obey and respect one's mother in the Islamic religion for the
following reasons:
1. A mother carried her baby for nine months in her
womb.
2. During pregnancy, the mother experiences great
hardship. Then during delivery of the child, the mother suffers extreme pain.
Many woman die in childbirth.
3. The mother is the one who feeds and nurtures the
baby.
4. It is an innate instinct for mothers to care
more for their children than fathers do.
29).
All religions and all
societies have given parents an honorable status. From a purely material
viewpoint, we find ourselves indebted to our parents, particularly our mother.
She not only nourished us in her womb, but went through pain and suffering. She
loved us even before we were born. She toiled when we were totally helpless
infants. She spent sleepless nights caring for us. Our parents as a team
provided for all our needs: physical, educational, psychological, and in many
instances, religious, moral, and spiritual.
Our indebtedness to our
parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. In lieu of
this, it becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost kindness, respect, and
obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations
and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. The
Qur’anic commandments, as well as the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) guide
us in this matter. The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since
rules were laid down by divine command.
References to parents
have been made at least 15 times in the Holy Qur’an. There are numerous
traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on this subject. I will first quote
some of the Qur’anic verses here:
“And We have enjoined on
man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear
him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents;
to Me is thy final goal.” (Quran 31:14)
According to the above
verse, gratitude to God and to parents go hand in hand. Gratitude to God is
incomplete without showing gratitude to one’s parents. Since being grateful to
God is a form of ibadah (worship) which earns heavenly rewards, it can
therefore be said that being grateful to one’s parents also earns heavenly
rewards.
“Thy Lord hath decreed
that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or
more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel
them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the
wing of humility, and say, “my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they
cherished me in childhood.” (Quran 17: 23-24)
“We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she
give him birth.” (Quran 46:15)
Thus, God has enjoined
on us to show kindness, respect, and humility to our parents. We are commanded
to do this, even though they may have injured us. The only exception to the
above command is made in the following verse:
“We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents; but if they strive (to force) thee to join with Me
anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not.” (Quran 29:8)
Some of the traditions
of Prophet Muhammad, and of the learned members of his family, about our
responsibilities toward our parents are quoted here:
“Paradise lies under the
feet of the mother.”
“God’s pleasure is in
the pleasure of the father, and God’s displeasure is in the displeasure of the
father.”
“He who wishes to enter
Paradise through its best door must please his parents.”
“It is a pity that some
people may not attain Paradise, on account of not serving their old parents.”
“If a person looks with
love at his parents, God writes in his favor the reward equal to the
performance of one Hajj.”
[Someone asked, “will
this promise be good if one looks at his parents one hundred times a day?” The
Holy Prophet (pbuh) replied, “even if one does so a hundred thousand times a
day, God gives the reward accordingly.”]
“A man or woman is bound
to be good to his or her parents, even though they may have injured him or
her.”
Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq
(r.a.), the great-great-grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is reported to
have quoted Imam ‘Ali (ra) that, “disobedience to parents is a major sin.” He
also stated that, “if a person looks at the face of his or her parents with
wrathful eyes, despite the fact that injustice was done to him or her by the
parents, his or her salah (prayer) will not be accepted by God.”
According to one of the
Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is reported about the status of parents:
“God has commanded that
if anybody prays equal to the invocations performed by the prophets, such
prayers will do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her parents.”
It has also been related
that the very first words which have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The
Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are:
“I am God, and there is
no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with whom their parents are
pleased, and I am displeased with those with whom their parents are
displeased.”
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
is reported to have said: “On the Day of Judgment, my person will not be seen
by those who drank liquor, those who on hearing my name did not invoke the
blessings of God on me, or those who were cursed and disowned by their
parents.”
‘Ali ibn al-Husain (ra)
is reported to have said: “The right of your mother on you is that you should
know that nobody could endure the trouble and the conditions under which she
protected you and nourished you with the juice of her life, and tried with her
heart and soul to satisfy all your needs in relation to hunger, thirst, dress,
etc. She passed sleepless nights, suffering anxieties. She provided you with
shelter against heat and cold, and protected you from ailments. It is not
possible for you to compensate her, or thank her enough for all the services,
except that God may give you guidance for that. The right of your father on you
is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you
are a branch of the tree of his life.”
According to a reliable
tradition, it is related that a man came to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and asked
him to whom he should render kindness. The prophet told him to be kind to his
mother. Three times he put the same question to the prophet, and three times he
got the same answer. When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to
be kind to his father, indicating that the mother’s right took precedence over
that of the father.
Parents’ duties: Islam
has assigned certain duties to parents that they must fulfill. If they fail in
those, they will be questioned about it. Besides providing the basic
necessities of life, Islam requires that the parents teach their children about
the Oneness of God, the Quranic commandments, values, the Prophets and their
teachings, and the moral code of Islam as according to the Quran and the Sunnah
(teachings) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
Let us pray to God that
He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to our parents, and that we
continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and
influence we may possess. Let us also pray that we be patient, kind,
thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as we guide them through their
lives, and that we discharge our responsibilities towards them as required by
our religion, so that God may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and reward
us, both in this world and in the Hereafter. Ameen.
13).
Iist of Islamic manner:
14).
Islamic Manner:
1) Should greatly respect Parents and follow their orders (within
Islamic Law).
2) Should greatly respect Islamic Teachers and Scholars.
3) Should greatly respect Quran. It's HARAM to touch Quran without Wazoo. Should respect Islamic Books and Literature too.
4) Should greatly respect the direction of Qibla. It's prohibited to extend ones feet towards Qibla and to sleep while feet are extended towards Qibla.
5) Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) should be respected and loved more than anyone in the world. Whenever hear his lovely name always say Dorood, at least say Sallal Laho Alaihe Wasalam.
6) Azan should be heard with great concentration and should be answered (repeating the words after every sentence). It is prohibited to talk during Azan.
7) Should be quite when performing Wazoo should not talk to others. Should recite Dua or Dorood during Wazoo.
8) Should eat only Halal and Clean food. Should never ever eat Haram food.
9) Should recite Quran everyday.
10) Must pray five times a day, on time.
11) Should avoid every bad conversation and every bad habit.
12) It is a Great Sin to Dance, to Listen to Music, to Sing songs and to make images or to take photos of living beings ( Human and Animals).
13) Always avoid Lies, Back Biting and Tale Bearing.
14) Always keep your body, cloths and home clean.
15) There is no greater deed than to Learn and Teach Islamic Knowledge. Should never be ashamed of asking any Islamic Question.
16) Should always treat every one with great respect and manners.
17) Children should not call their parents with their names and a wife should never call her husband with his name.
18) It is a bad manner to extend your feet towards elders.
19) Should always respect elderly people and if they are sitting on floor, children should never sit on a chair.
2) Should greatly respect Islamic Teachers and Scholars.
3) Should greatly respect Quran. It's HARAM to touch Quran without Wazoo. Should respect Islamic Books and Literature too.
4) Should greatly respect the direction of Qibla. It's prohibited to extend ones feet towards Qibla and to sleep while feet are extended towards Qibla.
5) Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) should be respected and loved more than anyone in the world. Whenever hear his lovely name always say Dorood, at least say Sallal Laho Alaihe Wasalam.
6) Azan should be heard with great concentration and should be answered (repeating the words after every sentence). It is prohibited to talk during Azan.
7) Should be quite when performing Wazoo should not talk to others. Should recite Dua or Dorood during Wazoo.
8) Should eat only Halal and Clean food. Should never ever eat Haram food.
9) Should recite Quran everyday.
10) Must pray five times a day, on time.
11) Should avoid every bad conversation and every bad habit.
12) It is a Great Sin to Dance, to Listen to Music, to Sing songs and to make images or to take photos of living beings ( Human and Animals).
13) Always avoid Lies, Back Biting and Tale Bearing.
14) Always keep your body, cloths and home clean.
15) There is no greater deed than to Learn and Teach Islamic Knowledge. Should never be ashamed of asking any Islamic Question.
16) Should always treat every one with great respect and manners.
17) Children should not call their parents with their names and a wife should never call her husband with his name.
18) It is a bad manner to extend your feet towards elders.
19) Should always respect elderly people and if they are sitting on floor, children should never sit on a chair.
15).
Ten Manners in Islam:
Ten Manners in Islam
By Imran Ayub[1]
This message has been reproduced directly from
'Islam_True' Newsgroup
(only 'read more' links are added by me)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Islam_True/
source : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Islam_True/message/506
1. Praying for someone who does
good to you
Praying for the one who treats you kindly by
saying “Jazak Allaahu khayran”
It was narrated that Usaamah ibn Zayd (may
Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him)
said:
“Whoever has a favour done for him and says to
the one who did it, ‘Jazak Allaahu khayran,’ has done enough to thank him.”[2]
2. Shaking hands with the opposite gender
Narrated Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be
pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said:
“If one of you were to be struck in the head
with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a
woman he is not allowed to.”[4]
read more
Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sexhttp://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/2459/shaking%20hands
Shaking hands with a non-mahram woman
covered under Major Sins (2 of 3)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/message/81
3. Drinking
It is permissible to drink, however it is better
to drink while sitting.
Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him): Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
“None of you should drink while standing; and if
anyone forgets, he must vomit.”[5]
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with
him):
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) drank Zam-Zam
(water) while standing.”[6]
Narrated An-Nazzal (may Allaah be pleased with
him): All came to the gate of the courtyard (of the Mosque) and drank (water)
while he was standing and said,
“Some people dislike to drink while standing,
but I saw the Prophet (peace be upon him) doing (drinking water) as you have
seen me doing now.”[7]
Imam Nawawee (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said:
“There is no contradiction in these ahaadeeth,
praise be to Allaah, and none of them are da’eef (weak). Rather they are all
saheeh. The correct view is that the forbidding mentioned in them is to be
understood as meaning that it is disliked. The fact that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) drank whilst standing indicates that it is
permissible to do so. This is all that needs to be said on the matter.”[8]
read more
Ruling on drinking whilst standinghttp://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/21147/standing
4. Sneezing
When someone sneezes, they should praise Allah
by saying ‘Alhamdulillah’ (Praise be to Allaah.
If you here someone sneezing and praising Allah,
you should ask Allah to bestow His Mercy on them by saying ‘Yarhamukallaah’ (May
Allaah bestow His Mercy on you).
If someone says this to you, you should reply, ‘Yahdeekumullaahu
wa yuslihu baalakum’ (May Allah give you guidance and improve your
condition).
Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“If anyone of you sneezes, he should say
'Al-Hamdulillah' (Praise be to Allah), and his (Muslim) brother or companion
should say to him, 'Yar-hamuka-l-lah' (May Allah bestow his Mercy on you). When
the latter says 'Yar-hamuka-llah", the former should say, 'Yahdikumul-lah
wa Yuslih balakum' (May Allah give you guidance and improve your condition).”[9]
read more
The etiquette of sneezinghttp://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/67805/sneezing
He sneezed while he was praying - should he say al-hamdu
Lillaah ?http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Islam_True/message/266
5. Greeting
It is the duty of all muslims to great each
other by sayin ‘As-Salaamu 'alaykum’ (peace be upon you)
Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall.
When He created him, He said to him, ‘Go and greet that group of angels, and
listen to their reply, for it will be your greeting (salutation) and the
greeting (salutations) of your offspring.’ So, Adam said (to the angels),
As-Salamu Alaikum (i.e. Peace be upon you). The angels said, "As-salamu
Alaika wa Rahmatu-l-lahi" (i.e. Peace and Allah's Mercy be upon you). Thus
the angels added to Adam's salutation the expression, 'Wa Rahmatu-l-lahi,' Any
person who will enter Paradise will resemble Adam (in appearance and figure).
People have been decreasing in stature since Adam's creation.”[10]
6. Eating with the right hand
Muslims should always eat and drink with their
right hands only.
Narrated Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with
him): Allaah's Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying:
“When any one of you intends to eat (meal), he
should eat with his right hand. and when he (intends) to drink he should drink
with his right hand, for the Satan eats with his left hand and drinks with his
left hand.”[11]
7. Saying Bismillah before eating
It is Sunnah to say ‘Bismillaah’ (In
The Name Of Allaah)
Narrated 'Umar bin Abi Salama (may Allaah be
pleased with him): I was a boy under the care of Allah's Apostle (peace be upon
him) and my hand used to go around the dish while I was eating. So Allah's
Apostle (peace be upon him) said to me,
“O boy! Mention the Name of Allah and eat with
your right hand, and eat of the dish what is nearer to you." Since then I
have applied those instructions when eating.”[12]
read more
Etiquette of Eatinghttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/message/37
8. What to say after eating
After eating, it is Sunnah to say ‘Alhamdu
lillaahi hamdan katheeran tayyiban mubaarakan feehi, ghayra makfiyyin wa laa
muwadda'in, wa laa mustaghnan 'anhu Rabbanaa’ (All praise is to Allah,
praise in abundance, good and blessed. It cannot be compensated for, nor can it
be left, nor can it be done without, our Lord)
Narrated Aboo Umama (may Allaah be pleased with
him): Whenever the dining sheet of the Prophet was taken away (i.e., whenever
he finished his meal), he used to say:
“Al-hamdu lillah kathiran taiyiban mubarakan
fihi ghaira makfiy wala muwada' wala mustaghna'anhu Rabbuna.”[13]
read more
Etiquette of Eatinghttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/message/37
9. Respecting Parents
We should always respect our parents.
Allah, the Most High, says in the Qur’aan:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none
but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of
them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor
shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing
of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on
them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.”[14]
Narrated Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) and said:
“O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go and fight
(in jihad) and I have come to consult you.”
He said, “Do you have a mother?”
He said, “Yes.”
He said, “Stay with her for Paradise is
at her feet.”[15]
read more
Responsibility of Children Towards their
Parents http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Islam_True/message/452
10. Lying and Cheating
It is not permissible to lie and cheat in Islaam
i. Lying
Narrated ‘Abdullah (may Allaah be pleased with
him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness
leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a
truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and
Al-Fajur (wickedness) leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling
lies till he is written before Allah, a liar.”[16]
Narrated Samura bin Jundub (may Allaah be
pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“I saw (in a dream), two men came to me."
Then the Prophet narrated the story (saying), ‘They said, ‘The person, the one
whose cheek you saw being torn away (from the mouth to the ear) was a liar and
used to tell lies and the people would report those lies on his authority till
they spread all over the world. So he will be punished like that till the Day
of Resurrection.’”[17]
read more
Tell them Daddy's not home!!"http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Islam_True/message/369
ii. Cheating
Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased
with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) happened to pass by a heap of
eatables (corn). He thrust his hand in that (heap) and his fingers were
moistened. He said to the owner of that heap of eatables (corn):
“What is this?”
He replied: “Messenger of Allah, these
have been drenched by rainfall.”
He (peace be upon him) remarked: “Why
did you not place this (the drenched part of the heap) over other eatables so
that the people could see it? He who deceives is not of me (is not my
follower).”[18]
And It is Only Allah Who grants success. May
Allah Exalt the mention of His slave and Messenger Muhammad, and render him,
his household and companion safe from Evil.
[1] Here
is a list of a few manners I compiled for a class in my local mosque. The
children were of Class 4, so these are some basic, yet important, manners. I
chose these specific ones because of what i experienced when i was teaching
them.
[2] Sunan
at – Tirmidhi, Number 1958; Classed as Saheeh by Sheikh
al-Albaanee in Saheeh Sunan at – Tirmidhi 2/200 and Saheehul-Jami',
Number, 6244; Refer to ‘Fortress of a Muslim’,
[3] A
mahram is a man a woman is permitted to uncover in front of, such as her
husband, brother, father and all those other males mentioned in Surah
An-Noor (24: 31); Refer to
http://www.al-ibaanah.com/articles.php?ArtID=65
[4] Reported
by At-Tabaraanee, Al-Bayhaqee and others; Classed as authentic
by Sheikh al – Albaanee in Silsilat As-Saheehah (1/447-448)
and in Saheeh al-Jaami’, Number 5045; Refer to
http://www.al-ibaanah.com/articles.php?ArtID=65 and
http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=2459&ln=eng
[5] Saheeh
Muslim, Book 023, Number 5022
[6] (Agreed
Upon); Saheeh Bukhaari, Volume 7, Book 69, Number 521; Saheeh
Muslim, Book 023, Number 5023
[7] Saheeh
Bukhaari, Volume 7, Book 69, Number 519
[8] Refer
to http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=21147&ln=eng
[9] Saheeh
Bukhaari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 243
[10] (Agreed
Upon); Saheeh Muslim, Volume 4, Book 55, Number 543; Saheeh
Muslim, Book 040, Number 6809
[11] Saheeh
Muslim, Book 023, Number 5008
[12] (Agreed
Upon); Saheeh Bukhaari, Volume 7, Book 65, Number 288; Saheeh
Muslim, Book 023, Number 5012
[13] Saheeh
Bukhaari, Volume 7, Book 65, Number 368
[14] The
Noble Qur’aan, Soorah Al-Isra 17:23 24
[15] Musnad
Ahmad, Number 15577; Shaykh Shu’ayb al-Arna’oot said: its isnaad is hasan.
Refer to http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=34176&ln=eng
[16] (Agreed
Upon); Saheeh Bukhaari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 116; Saheeh
Muslim, Book 032, Number 6307
[17] Saheeh
Bukhaari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 118
[18] Saheeh
Muslim, Book 001, Number 0183
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Join Today and learn more about Islam, Insha'Allah
Salaam Walekum
Imran Ayub
Islam_True
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individuals and groups, to post on Internet sites and to publish in full text
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We All LOVE Islam
But We Create Our Own Rules On How To Follow
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The Prophet (pbuh) said,
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[Saheeh Bukhaari, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 667]
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveIslam_LiveIslam/message/102
16):
Manners Of Eating And Drinking:
Introduction
Health is one of the most magnificent graces of Allah (s.w) to his slave and
one of his most venerable and abundant donations.
Al-Bukhari (an authentic book of prophetic traditions) has narrated that the
Holy Prophet 
has
said:
has
said:
"There are two
favours that many people are prejudiced by it: The health and the leisure."
At-Tirmizi (an authentic book of prophetic traditions) and others have reported
from a hadith (a prophetic tradition) by Abdullah bin Mash Alan sari (r.a) that
the Holy Prophet has
said:
has
said:
"The one who is
physically healthy, safe in his community and is sufficiently nurtured will
possess the whole world."
It is reported from At-Tirmizi from Abu-Hurairah (r.a) that the Holy
Prophet has
said:
has
said:
"The first
question asked to a believer at the Day of Resurrection concerning the delights
of this world is: Have not we preserved your body and quenched your thirst with
cold water?!"
Thus, some
predecessors said that these Divine words:
(Then, shall ye be questioned that Day about
the joy (ye indulged in) designate:
The health.)
Anas (r.a) relates from the Holy Prophet that
he (the prophet) did not criticize any food ever: When he desired a food, he
used to eat it, or else he used to leave it and abstain from eating it, but he
did not prohibit those who desire it or who are habituated to eat if from
consuming it.
that
he (the prophet) did not criticize any food ever: When he desired a food, he
used to eat it, or else he used to leave it and abstain from eating it, but he
did not prohibit those who desire it or who are habituated to eat if from
consuming it.
Eating less also holds some great benefits. Describing these benefits the most
eminent scholar of the 20th Century Hazrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi Sahib
(rah) who at the age of 25 became an Alim (scholar). For the aid of the muslim
ummah (generation) he began writing Kitabs (islamic books) regarding the muslim
law in which he wrote a great number of kitabs which come to a calculation of
over 950. Until now these kitabs are flourishing around the whole globe very
rapidly. His kitabs can be found in every topic: Fiqh (jurisprudence), Qur'an,
T.V, Music, etc. An article had been published in a magazine called 'Al-Mu'min'
in which it states that he has scientifically warned:
"Many sins are the consequences of providing excessive nourishment
to the stomach, i.e.. Abstain from haram food. Do not become addicted to
delicious food. Do not eat excessively. Leave some space in the stomach, i.e..
Do not eat to satiation.
The
benefits of eating less are:
1. The heart
remains pure. This leads to recognition of the Ni'mat (bounties) of Allah (sw).
2. Love for
Allah (sw) develops in the purified heart.
3. Mercy and
Tenderness become the attributes of the heart.
4. Pleasure is
experienced in Du'aa (supplication) and Zikr (rememberence of Allah)
5. Pride and
Rebellion of the Nafs are restraint and eliminated.
6. The
difficulty of even a little hunger leads to abstention from sins. The
inclination for sins
decreases.
7. One stays
healthy.
8. One feels
less sleepy, and laziness in regard to Tahajjud (a virtuous prayer read between
the night and morning) and other acts of
Ibaadah (worship) is uprooted.
If the Holy
Prophet detested
food he would not eat so much to overburden his nature. This is a great basis
of health preservation, for when a human being eats what nature abhors, then
the human being would be damaged.
detested
food he would not eat so much to overburden his nature. This is a great basis
of health preservation, for when a human being eats what nature abhors, then
the human being would be damaged.
Abu-Na'eem has written in Kitabatu-Tib that the Holy Prophet has
said that the Al-Mighty Allah has not created any utensil bigger than stomach
and that when a person takes meal, he should try to divide the whole thing into
three parts. One for food, another for water and the third for breathing.
has
said that the Al-Mighty Allah has not created any utensil bigger than stomach
and that when a person takes meal, he should try to divide the whole thing into
three parts. One for food, another for water and the third for breathing.
Eating less keeps one
healthy, sharpens memory, reduces hours of sleep, helps smooth breathing and
saves one from being sluggish.
Abu-Na'eem (the blessed
one) has written in Kitabut-Tib that Qabiyah bin Zaweer (r.a) reports from the
Holy Prophet that
he (the prophet) has instructed for picking teeth as failing to do this makes
teeth weak and angels disgusted.
that
he (the prophet) has instructed for picking teeth as failing to do this makes
teeth weak and angels disgusted.
The one who observes the prophet's guidance will find
out that it is the best way of preserving the health. In fact the health
preservation depends on the good managing of food, drink, clothing, residence
air, sleeping, awakening, movement, serenity, marriage, emptying and
restraining. If these elements take place moderately and in a proper way that
fits the body, the country, the age and the habitude; health would be preserved
until death.
1. To
wash both hands up to the wrists
2. To
spread out the dastarkhan (table cloth)
3. To
recite Bismillah
4. To
eat with the right hand (unless you are incapable of)
5. To
eat from that which is in front of you.
If there is a variety of food in the dastarkhan then one could eat whatever one
likes. One should
stretch out his hand (in order to get the food) after the other person has
drawn his hand back.
6. To
eat with 3 three fingers. This helps to digest the food (scientifically proven)
as a result by
eating bit by bit. It is the most efficient method of eating. Eating with five
fingers and the palm of
the hand is very un-hygienic and this implies the filling of the stomach by
food and the digestive
organs could be blocked, which leads to the human being's death.
7. To
clean the plate, bowl, etc. and to lick the fingers.
8. To
pick up and eat a fallen morsel, and not to leave the same for satan. In this
way a person will
find his sustenance in abundance. According to one hadith, the fallen morsel,
if taken, become
maihir (dower) for hoouries of the heaven and Allah, the Almighty would keep
him and his
off springs safe from leprosy, leucoderma and lunacy.
9. Not
to find fault in food.
10. Not to blow in
food as a result of carbon dioxide been released.
11. Not to lean
while eating.
12. To read the
du'aa after the meals.
13. To get up
after lifting the dastarkhan and to read the du'aa whilst lifting the
dastarkhan.
14. To gargle the
mouth.
15. To wash the
hands after eating.
16. To recite a
special du'aa after having iftar (breaking fast) or after having eaten at
another
person's house.
It has been written in a
kitab called 'Umdatul-Ihkam' that the Holy Prophet has
instructed to eat together for achieving blessings.
has
instructed to eat together for achieving blessings.
Jabir (r.a) reports from
the Holy Prophet that
the most desirable food is which is taken by many hands. He the Holy
Prophet has
also said that eating with brethren is remedial. He has also said that the
worst man is the one who takes food alone, beats his slave girl, abandons his
offerings and marries with his hand, i.e.. performs masturbation. He has also
instructed us to take food after making it cold for extremely hot food is
devoid of blessings. According to some other books, extremely hot food makes
the stomach weak.
that
the most desirable food is which is taken by many hands. He the Holy
Prophet has
also said that eating with brethren is remedial. He has also said that the
worst man is the one who takes food alone, beats his slave girl, abandons his
offerings and marries with his hand, i.e.. performs masturbation. He has also
instructed us to take food after making it cold for extremely hot food is
devoid of blessings. According to some other books, extremely hot food makes
the stomach weak.
Remedy: Abu-Na'eem (the
blessed one) quotes Anas bin Malik (r.a) saying that the Holy Prophet instructed
the people to have food in the night for the old age approaches very fast if
the night meal is given as usually.
instructed
the people to have food in the night for the old age approaches very fast if
the night meal is given as usually.
Importance: A little
should be eaten in the night. It is harmful to eat so much.
Regarding the manners of
sitting when eating it was the habit of the Holy Prophet that
he did not eat whilst reclining.
that
he did not eat whilst reclining.
It was true that the Holy Prophet said:
said:
"I do not eat
while reclining. I do sit like the slave of Allah and I do eat like him."
It is narrated in a
hadith that the Holy Prophet prohibited
the man to eat while lying with his face downward.
prohibited
the man to eat while lying with his face downward.
The concept of reclining has been explained in various ways:
1. To sit
cross-legged.
2. To lean
on an object.
3. To lean
upon a flank (side).
Regarding number
3, (to lean upon a flank) it is the most harmful way of sitting because
when you lean upon a flank it alters the natural way of food . The other two
(to sit cross-legged and to lean on an object ) are the ways the powerful
people sit who go contrary to slavery. Thus, the Holy Prophet said:
said:
"I do eat like
the slave of Allah does" and the Holy Prophet ate
sitting on his heels. He has said that he ate leaning on his knees, the method
is by placing the inside of his left foot the back of his right foot; as a sign
of modesty towards Allah (s.w) of politeness between his hands and of respect
for the food and the guest. This way of eating is proven to be the best and
safest, because all the organs are left in their natural condition which Allah
the powerful created, including the civilized position .
ate
sitting on his heels. He has said that he ate leaning on his knees, the method
is by placing the inside of his left foot the back of his right foot; as a sign
of modesty towards Allah (s.w) of politeness between his hands and of respect
for the food and the guest. This way of eating is proven to be the best and
safest, because all the organs are left in their natural condition which Allah
the powerful created, including the civilized position .
One should not also lean
on pillows and mattresses because this position was the powerful people and the
ones who eat excessively.
Abu Nu'aim has related that "The Holy Prophet prohibited
sleeping immediately after dinner as he said that this fact hardens the
heart." Thus, the doctors
have advised us to walk after dinner about one hundred steps and prohibit
sleeping immediately after as this is very harmful. The muslim Doctors say that
one should pray after supper so that the aliments settle at the bottom of the
stomach in order to make the digestion easier and better.
prohibited
sleeping immediately after dinner as he said that this fact hardens the
heart." Thus, the doctors
have advised us to walk after dinner about one hundred steps and prohibit
sleeping immediately after as this is very harmful. The muslim Doctors say that
one should pray after supper so that the aliments settle at the bottom of the
stomach in order to make the digestion easier and better.
There are five sunnats of drinking:
1. Never
drink from a bottle (carbon dioxide is released in the bottle).
2. Do not
drink from the mug's cleft and do not breathe in the beverage.
3. Drink in
three drafts. (sips). The Holy Prophet has
said:
has
said:
"The water quenches the thirst and is
sanitary."
4. Invoke
Allah (s.w) when you drink and praise him when you finish. It is reported in a
hadith that the
Holy Prophet said:
said:
"Do not drink the water in one
draft just like camels but drink it in one or three gushes,
and invoke Allah (s.w) when you drink and praise him when you
finish."
5. Do not
drink while standing up.
The Holy Prophet used
to drink while sitting. This way was his usual guidance. It was true that
used
to drink while sitting. This way was his usual guidance. It was true that
he prohibited a person to drink while standing and infact he ordered the
standing drinker to vomit
this water as he drank it while standing up. One group of people have stated
that this order was just
to guide people and to adopt the best option. Drinking Zam Zam water is
permissible while
standing up as the Holy Prophet did
because this is a case of necessity.
did
because this is a case of necessity.
The Holy Prophet has
prohibited us to drink water lying our faces downwards, as he
has
prohibited us to drink water lying our faces downwards, as he
prohibited us from drawing water with the hands, saying:
"Do not lick the water like a dog and do
not taste the water at night before examining it
out of fear that the recipient is covered
during the night."
If a person drinks by the mouth while standing up from an elevated basin, there
would be no
difference between drinking with the hand or by the mouth, because drinking with
the mouth is
very dangerous if the drinker is lying faced down on his venture.
Modern science have showed us again and again that eating less results to
living a long life and have
also given us a group of advantages regarding it. According to a professor from
Dewsbury,
excessive eating causes a number of illnesses within
our bodies. The following is a list the professor
put forward:
1.
Brain Diseases.
2. Eye
Diseases.
3.
E.N.T Diseases. (Ear, Nose, Throat)
4.
Chest and Lung Diseases.
5.
Heart and Volves Diseases.
6.
Liver and Gall Bladder Diseases.
7.
Diabetes.
8.
High Blood Pressure.
9.
Destruction Of Brain Veins.
10. Pschycological
Diseases.
11. Depression.
12. Stroke
17). Morals and Manners in Islam:
Personal Character
Generally speaking and
particularly within Islam there is nothing better and more encouraged than
perfecting one’s character. The life of the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) was wholly
focused on the importance of knowing and living life as the perfect example of good
character and it is his character we strive to exemplify as far as it is
possible.
For those who accept
Islam as their new found faith is encouraged to direct attention towards being
more aware of and therefore shedding any bad personal traits in favour of good
and virtuous ones.
Trust,
humility, truth, mercy, tenderness, forgiveness, patience, modesty and
generosity are but a few
recommended values which should prevail when dealing with humanity and indeed
all of God’s creation.
Tempering negative characteristics
is recommended in order to develop meaningful, lasting and fruitful
relationships that will enhance personal well being and that of society at
large.
Making mischief,
singling out individuals to become the focus of ridicule, laughing at or jeering
others, racial or intolerant attitudes towards individuals is not the behaviour
expected and therefore should not be accepted of a Muslim.
The Messenger of Allah
PBUH said "Avoid suspicion, for suspicion is the greatest lie. Do not be
inquisitive about one another, or spy on one another. Do not outbid one another
with a view to raising the price. Do not feel jealous and do not hold grudges
against one another. Do not backbite, but be the servants of God like brothers
and sisters amongst yourselves" (Bukhari & Muslim)
Showing anger and
arrogance, indulging in slander and suspicion, being rude as an expression of
hate towards others, being selfish and niggardly towards those in need are
tendencies which need to be addressed and, in time with the right guidance,
support and good company, can and should be replaced by the more positive
characteristics mentioned above.
The Messenger of Allah
said "Strictly avoid envy because
envy consumes good deeds as fire consumes dry wood" (Abu Daoud)
To help and assist those
in need, especially your immediate family, close neighbours and friends in the
community, whatever the circumstances, is highly encouraged, even if it is
simply by a kind word or smile.
Speaking well of people
despite being aware of their shortcomings and misdemeanors is commendable. On
occasions, when you find yourself in company indulging in conversation of the
gossiping kind, it is always better to discreetly divert the conversation in
favour of more appropriate conversation.
Related by Abdullah Ibn 'Amr
lbn Al'Aas who said "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) neither talked
indecently, nor did he listen to indecent talk. He used to say: 'The best of
you are those who have the best manners" (Bukhari & Muslim)
While Islam provides the
spiritual help and complete guidance for life there is still a need for
practical advice and support in dealing effectively with some of life's
dilemmas.
In these circumstances
it is always advisable to confide in someone who has a good understanding of
Islam, who is trustworthy and is not known to take advantage of the
vulnerability of others.
If the problem is of a
very personal nature it may be best to seek professional help.
Consequently if
approached and entrusted with confidential information by a fellow Muslim it
should be guarded respectfully while, at the same time and in view of the
nature of the problem, sensitive advice and support should be offered which
would be in keeping with or fall within the Islamic perspectives.
Muslims should always
try to maintain a cheerful countenance, placing our trust in God and thanking
Him for the Mercies and Blessings He continues to shower on us. With patience
and His Guidance, all actions both private and public will, in time, come to be
based on the guidelines set down by Him and are practically expressed through
the life and character of His servant and Messenger, Muhammad (pbuh).
As ambassadors of Islam it is important generally, when attending
public functions and in particular when attending the Mosque, that Muslims
present themselves in a tidily dressed and clean manner regardless of the style
of dress.
Bad body odours as well as disagreeable ones caused by eating or
cooking with onions or garlic, spices and such like can be generally offensive
to others. It is important therefore to take note of the Islamic requirements
about general cleanliness and those specific to attendance at the Mosque.
Worshippers should always be mindful that the Mosque is primarily
a place of worship and that raising the voice, pushing or shoving, disregarding
general etiquettes, loitering, indulging in idle talk and using the premises to
conduct business transactions are not recommended.
For all Muslims, male and female the reward for praying the five
daily Prayers collectively in the Mosque, or any other designated place, is
twenty seven that of praying alone. Collective or congregational prayer means
joining with the other worshippers and standing together (if unable to stand
one should sit or kneel) shoulder to shoulder in straight lines making sure
that each line from the front is complete and unbroken.
It is recommended that when leaving the place of prayer one should
not walk directly in front of a person who is praying but leave sufficient
space (at least the length of a prayer mat) so as to avoid distracting their
prayer.
When praying some optional prayers individually it is best to find
a position where inconvenience to others who may be entering or leaving the
Mosque is minimised. Ideally it is best to place something ie. your jacket, a
holdall or briefcase, a chair or parcel on the floor just in front of where the
forehead rests while in the prostration position which acts as a barrier and in
front of which people may pass with ease.
Women have an established right to attend the Mosque and are
encouraged to gain the rewards of collective prayer. It is a sad fact that some
Mosques, following cultural practices or erroneous interpretations of Islam,
have and continue to make none or very poor efforts at providing women’s prayer
areas. Others, driven by the correct interpretations and understanding of
Islam, have admirably addressed this requirement providing highly acceptable
standards for women.
It is best to enquire locally about the Mosque(s), the provisions
made at each for collective prayer, opportunities for learning and studying
Islam, women’s facilities, and any other services you feel ought to be
available.
The fact that nothing of this nature exists at the Mosque should
not be taken a evidence that none of these services exist in the community.
Efforts towards education and developing Islam are not always facilitated by
the Mosque and are often located at a local community or women's centers so it
is best to make enquiries from individuals within the community to find
something you feel is suitable for your need
Visiting and Being
Visited
In Britain we find that
for all kinds of reasons, many of which have no basis in Islam but are
culturally driven, Muslims tend to apply gender restrictions when socialising.
Inviting and accepting the invitations of others, particularly to a Walima (the community celebration meal following
a wedding), Akika (the community
celebration meal following the birth of a child), Iftar (a meal to break the fast in the month of
Ramadan) or simply for refreshments or a light meal is highly encouraged.
Such occasions are vital towards establishing close harmony and strong relationships as well as providing an opportunity for useful discussion, relaxation and enjoyment.
Performing regular
Prayers should helps towards establishing a sense of time-keeping and
punctuality in all matters, especially pre-arranged appointments. If you are
intending to visit a frined it is only polite to confirm the visit by message
or phone beforehand as it is understandable that there may be occasions when
the household may not be in a position to comfortably receive guests.
In appreciation of this,
and respecting the rights of the householder, continuous knocking at door in an
effort to force entry or acknowledgement is rude and after having knocked three
times the caller should leave and call another time.
The Messenger of Allah
PBUH said "When one of you asks for permission three times and it is not
granted, you should stop asking for it and turn back" (Bukhari &
Muslim)
Guests should be treated
in a kind, friendly and hospitable manner. In return the guest should keep in
mind the convenience and ease of the host.
Here in the UK it is a
fact that the majority of family homes, due to size, space and the number of
occupants who reside there, do not allow for prolonged visits by friends and
family. Islam recommends that a guest should not extend a period of stay beyond
three days and nights as this may cause unnecessary stress and pressure to the
household.
The host is not obliged
to continue the elaborate preparation of food after this time. If the period of
stay happens to be longer at the hosts request or for some other reason, the
guest should expect to be treated no differently from the rest of the family
and should offer to contribute towards a prolonged stay and help out where and
when necessary.
In view of the variety
of cultural backgrounds of Muslims throughout the UK it is probable that such
gatherings will reflect this rich diversity in terms of dress, cuisine and
language.
While dress and cuisine
are to be varied and enjoyed, language can be isolating. It is only polite that
you speak in a language common to all present so that everyone feels welcome.
This is in keeping with the spirit of Islam.
The Messenger of Allah
said, "If you are in a group of three, two should not converse secretly to
the exclusion of your companion for that hurts his feelings." (Muslim)
Requirements regarding
segregation vary according to the organisers, the event and the venue provided.
If an occasion is held
in a family home its size may be such that men and women are in close
proximity. In such circumstances Muslim men and women must act responsibly
exercising politeness and respect in their interaction with each other.
At larger events such as
a wedding or Eid party separate
halls may be provided for men and women. This is to allow both parties,
particularly the women, the freedom to dress, beautify themselves and enjoy the
event in a relaxed atmosphere of privacy. However it may be that this is not possible
by the size of the venue or by the choice of the organizers. This should not be
seen as a measure of their ‘piety’ or their ‘lack of understanding’ of Islamic
requirements as these vary according to custom and tradition and are not
strictly ‘Islamic’ requirements to holding events.
One only has to consider the lesser and greater purification
requirements, Wudu and Ghusl necessary
to perform the five daily prayers and what nullifies them requiring you to
repeat the procedure, to realise the great importance placed on cleanliness of
the body which also has a bearing on purifying the soul in Islam.
Careful consideration regarding body odour and interaction with
colleagues in the workplace daily as well as attending regular collective
Prayer in the Mosque etc. requires showering as a daily routine.
We are particularly encouraged to shower/bathe every Friday before
congregational Prayer, and on the occasion of the two Eid Festivals.
This was encouraged when the availability of water and suitable conditions
where this could be carried out were in poor supply. Nowadays there is little
excuse for us all to attend to such matters with ease.
Perfume is highly recommended especially when attending
congregational Prayer in the Mosque and particularly at Jum'ah Prayer.
Different kinds of incense can be used to make ones clothing smell fresh and
beautiful and give a pleasant odor.
The mouth and the teeth require special attention. Regular use of
a toothbrush and paste or the use of a miswak, (a
teeth cleaning twig from the arak tree) at the time of Wudu, after
meals or whenever you feel the need not only leads to fresher breath and feeling
good but is also recommended dental care. Use of the Miswak, which
is part of dental hygiene, should be restricted to the bathroom and it should
not be used in public or allowed to hang from the mouth randomly as this is
impolite.
Body hair in the underarm and pubic areas need to be trimmed or
removed regularly. Modern conveniences have reduced both the time consuming and
painful elements of this task. Finger and toe nails also demand special
attention and should be kept trim and clean as they are a rich breeding ground
for germs.
Some people regard the wearing of a beard for men as a Sunnah of
the Prophet (pbuh), something he did and that men must emulate, and therefore
an obligatory act. While it is highly recommended it should be appreciated that
there are men who find a beard irritating to the skin, do not wish to grow one
or, as in the case of different cultural backgrounds, cannot grow one. These
personal preferences must be appreciated and respected. For those who wish to
grow it however, it should be kept clean, trimmed and tidy.
As a woman hair is a significant element of beauty and can be kept
at a length that is the preference of the woman herself. It should always be
kept clean and well groomed whether the Hijab, scarf
is worn or not.
Particular attention is drawn to maintaining cleanliness after
having relieved yourself in the toilet.
Toilet tissue can be used in the normal manner but you should
cultivate the habit of cleaning yourself by carefully and thoroughly washing
your private parts with water. The right hand is used for pouring while using
your left hand for the washing process. This is called istinja and
can be done using a water container, a bidet or a spray hose, all of which are
familiar objects in Muslim homes and Mosques throughout the UK.
If water is not available, extra care should be taken to ensure
cleanliness through the use of toilet tissue and or wet wipes.
It is always good to think about such things when planning to go
out for the day, especially when in the company of children and keeping in mind
that not all public conveniences are equipped with the necessary elements for
meeting your needs. Wet wipes are particularly good on these occasions.
Keep in mind also that Muslims are forbidden to relieve themselves
in waterways or in shady areas, which should be respected for public use and
should always relieve themselves in privacy.
The general requirement regarding clothing is that, for both the
male and female, it should be decent and respectable.
In some communities and countries, both males and females have the
same outline of dress eg. in Pakistan the shalwar and khameese and
the Middle East the thoub and jilbab, though
they are usually worn in slightly differing styles and colours. Here in Britain
there is a general consensus of what is male and female dress though, as in
other countries, both wear similar outlines of dress though in different styles
and colours.
For both women and men the fluctuation of fashion ensures that
there are many high street shops with a wide variety of designs which allow you
to fulfill the Islamic requirements without necessarily alienating yourself
from your family and society by adopting cultural designs that perhaps will not
look quite so comfortable outside their own particular community.
Men are not allowed to wear gold which is a beautification
reserved for women as well as silk, except on medical grounds where other
fibers are causing irritation to the skin.
At all times, both in private and public, both men and women are
required to cover from the navel to the knee which is regarded as the private
parts of the body referred to as the 'awrah.
Men are encouraged to wear a looser style of clothing which is
available in the high street. It is all too evident that Muslims generally
place more emphasis on women's dress and its strict observance and should
perhaps be more aware of placing more importance on and adherence to their own.
Women tend to show caution in relation to their dress which should
be modest and respectful and draw upon a wide variety of designs and styles to
meet it.
In the home one may dress according to taste and style. While
scarves are the traditionally accepted female head covering a woman,
particularly a convert to Islam, may feel more at ease with a head covering
which is more in keeping with the changing weather conditions or national dress
like hats, berets, wraps etc.,
he two major Festivals of celebration in Islam are Eid-Ul-Fitr and Eid-Ul-Adha. They
are both occasions of thanksgiving to God for helping us individually and
collectively to fulfill our religious duties.
They are occasions of happiness and joy during which everyone
should make the effort, if it is within their means, to turn both themselves
and their family out in their best attire.
It is a time for all to show affection and mutual appreciation for
each other's efforts particularly within the family through the exchanging of
gifts and presents and toys for the children.
The whole family should attend the Eid
Prayers, including menstruating women (who do not have to pray) but are
recommended to take advantage of the social aspect of the occasion and by
listening to the Khutba – the sermon delivered by the Imam,
together with the rest of the community. The prayer is usually held in an open
space, weather permitting, or in a Mosque or community hall.
These occasions attract more of the community than usual resulting
in a huge turnout and difficulty with parking and accommodating the women and
children in some instances. Even when the prayer is held in a larger venue or
in the open air the organisers often overlook or remain oblivious to these
basic needs. You will have to enquire about provisions for this in your local
area.
Because these festivals serve as important social occasions for
the community those participating are encouraged to try to interact with and
greet as many people as possible on the completion of the Prayer.
Fasting, which would curtail this social occasion, is forbidden on
the day of Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-ul-Adha as
well as the two days following Eid-ul-Adha.
Zakat ul Fitr, must be given by every
financially able Muslim. It is preferable that this payment should be made
before going to pray so that the less fortunate may also participate in the
celebrations. If one should forget they should make their contribution as soon
after the Prayer as possible.
It is recommended that every family (financially permitting)
should offer a sacrifice on the occasion of Eid-ul-Adha. None of
the meat should be sold but should be divided in three portions, one for the
poor, one for relatives and friends and one for the family's own use. The time
for this to be carried out lasts for four days including the day of Eid-ul-Adha itself.
This requirement can also be accomplished by donating the
equivalent cost of the sacrificial animal to a reputable charity which will
arrange for its distribution throughout the Muslim world where there is
greatest need.
The bond that exists
between a child and their parents is almost sacred. Each and everything a
parent does whether they are aware of it or not has a profound effect on the
personality and character of the child and the adult they will, one day,
become.
Islam strikes a balance
between rights and duties in all relationships. The attitude of "perform
your duties or else" versus "fight for your rights" as has sadly
become the practice in some societies, is not one recommended in Islam.
The emphasis is as
always on human compassion. The natural maternal/paternal feelings towards
their offspring and its reciprocation through love, generosity, sacrifice and
sharing is encouraged through verbal and physical communication.
This is a need of every
child that contributes towards forming a secure and self-confident adult.
Islam has given three undisputed rights to a child
1. The right to
life and equal chances in life.
2. The right of legitimacy. Each child should have legal parentage.
3. The right to a good upbringing and care. This duty not only rests with the parents but the relatives and society as a whole.
2. The right of legitimacy. Each child should have legal parentage.
3. The right to a good upbringing and care. This duty not only rests with the parents but the relatives and society as a whole.
A ceremony to celebrate
the birth of a child is known as 'Aqiqah'. It usually takes place within three weeks of the birth.
During this period a
good name should be chosen, the head shaved and a sheep sacrificed for a
celebration meal. Alternatively one can donate the equivalent value to charity
to be distributed among the poor for food.
It is highly recommended
that a boy child should be circumcised within this period also. There is no
circumcision for girls.
There is no prejudice or
sexism in Islam. Children are a gift from God and therefore worthy of respect
whether girls or boys.They have all been endowed with talents and abilities
necessary to the society as a whole. They should be encouraged therefore to
develop these capabilities within an Islamic framework with all the guidance
and help necessary and available.
The best method of
teaching a child is through example. Parents should encourage their children to
participate in religious obligations such as Prayers, Fasting etc. gently and
consistently as these are instrumental in building both the character and
training of the child.
While it is usual for a
young child to emulate its parents while praying etc, it is recommended that
the parents should encourage the child towards praying regularly from the age
of seven. It is recommended that boys and girls should occupy separate rooms
from the age of ten or according to the parent's discretion at a younger age.
A comprehensive and well
balanced education is undoubtedly the best gift parents can give their
children. Since it is incumbent on every Muslim both male and female to seek
knowledge this right to education is a duty on the entire community.
Parents
are the pivot around which much of our lives revolve. Regardless of age,
education and experience they always regard us as their children.
More
often than not their advice, experiences and insight into various issues are
invaluable. As human beings however there are occasions when there is a
difference of opinion. At times like these patience and understanding need to
be exercised.
As
the saying goes "You always hurt the ones you love”. Bearing this in
mind family members, particularly parents, are more sensitive towards their
children than anyone else. It is important to think about ones words and
actions so that nothing is said or done carelessly or unintentionally which
can be the cause of great pain.
Though
parents both deserve the same attention and love the main focus in Islam in
terms of love, affection and respect is towards the mother.
It is considered a great act of kindness to treat respectfully the friends of ones parents even after their parents have passed away. |
Marriage is an important social institution which Islam sees as
part of the perfection of the human character and personality.
It is a lifelong commitment sealed and bound by an honourable
contract with God as its first witness. It brings with it deep meaningful and
lasting responsibilities towards each other and the children God chooses to
bless it with.
Preparation for such an important step therefore is vital
particularly in Britain where marriage and family are being seriously
challenged as the most important institutions for the care, services and
security of all the individuals within it.
New Muslims who are already dealing with the stress and pressure
from family owing to embracing Islam are often persuaded into this serious
commitment of marriage before they are capable of dealing with it.
Occasionally converts to Islam can be carried along by a kind of
euphoria surrounding this event and place too much reliance on others allowing
them to make major judgments and decisions on their behalf.
It is important to be mindful and forward thinking when choosing a
marriage partner. Those who possess a good Islamic character and personality
are considered the best partners for marriage. They should be in a position to
support and care for a wife by being in employment, be able to provide a home
and appreciate and respect the family background and upbringing of their spouse
particularly when the spouse is a convert to Islam.
Enquiry about a prospective marriage partner should take place
through selected, reliable, caring representatives regarding the responsibility
of that person, their character, attitude to work, money, the home, family etc.
If there is satisfactory response, both parties should meet and discuss these
issues in the presence of such representatives as often as is required for both
parties to be happy and content that they are compatible and wish to proceed
with the marriage.
A woman has full right to make her own decision regarding her
choice of husband. This right cannot be taken away by anyone acting as her
guardian, representative, relative or friend. Her decision and choice of
marriage partner must be a decision taken freely without any coercion or
pressure.
Consulting with one another, communicating concerns and addressing
issues together as equals, respecting one another, expressing love and
affection towards each other and compromising when things are difficult is the
desired approach which should continue throughout the marriage and be the
guiding principles in deciding family matters.
A marriage must be contracted in the presence of the woman's
guardian and two witnesses.
The Mahr, dowry or marriage gift, which is an important element of the
Islamic marriage, should be agreed upon before the ceremony. The man should
give his bride a marriage gift which should suitably reflect his affection and
respect as well as his appreciation that she has chosen and consented to marry
him. The dowry or marriage gift can be in the form of money, clothing,
jewellery, property or other items of use to her or requested by her and agreed
by both.
Going to the extremes in the case of dowry is not encouraged because
it leads to the whole of society attaching too much importance to it. Neither
should it be treated as a matter of triviality or unimportance but should
reflect the respect with which the prospective husband holds his future wife.
A marriage in the community is of great social significance and
should be celebrated openly. Amusements are not only allowed but encouraged. To
ensure that women take an active part in and fully enjoy this unique occasion
it may be that the party is segregated but this is not necessarily the case in
every situation. It is generally up to the couple and their families whether
they wish to segregate or not.
The Walima, a party to celebrate the marriage is an important Islamic
tradition and should not be overlooked even if it is only with simple
refreshments. It is not considered polite to reject an invitation to a Walima which
is the families opportunity to announce to the public that this couple are now
married and a new family has been established in the community.
18).
Core
Values of Islam:
It is difficult to limit
all of Islam into a few core values. Nevertheless, the most important
beliefs and religious practices were identified by Prophet Muhammad
himself. Thus, there is general agreement on them among all
Muslims. It provides an interesting comparison since modern Jews and
Christians do not have similar uniformity in their belief systems.
Christians, for example, have numerous creeds[1] and
Jews do not have any agreed upon beliefs. Modern Jews mostly agree over
the 613 commandments that Maimonides, a Jewish rabbi from Muslim
Spain, recorded and classified in the 12th century.
Additionally, Muslim
scholars, past and present, have also identified and in certain cases agreed on
the core teachings of the Quran, of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and
blessings of God be upon him, and the ‘essentials’ of Islamic Law (Shariah).
Core Islamic Beliefs: Six Articles of Faith
More than a billion
Muslims share a common set of fundamental beliefs that are described as
"Articles of Faith." These articles of faith form the foundation of
Islamic belief system.
1. Belief in One
God: The most important teaching of Islam is that only God is to be served and
worshipped. Also, the biggest sin in Islam is to worship other beings
with God. In fact, Muslims believe that it is the only sin that God does
not forgive if a person dies before repenting from it.
2. Belief in
Angels: God created unseen beings called angels who work tirelessly to
administer His kingdom in full obedience. The angels surround us at all
times, each has a duty; some record our words and deeds.
3.
Belief in Prophets of God: Muslims believe that God communicates His guidance
through human prophets sent to every nation. These prophets start with
Adam and include Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace be upon
them. The main message of all the prophets has always been that there is
only One true God and He alone is worthy of being supplicated to and
worshipped.
4.
Belief in Revealed Books of God: Muslims believe that God revealed His wisdom
and instructions through ‘books’ to some of the prophets like the Psalms,
Torah, and the Gospel. Over time, however, the original teachings of
these books got distorted or lost. Muslims believe the Quran is God’s
final revelation revealed to Prophet Muhammad and has been fully preserved.
5.
Belief in Day of Judgment: The life of this world and all that is in it will
come to an end on an appointed day. At that time, every person will be
raised from the dead. God will judge each person individually, according
to his faith and his good and bad actions. God will show mercy and
fairness in judgment. According to Islamic teachings, those who believe
in God and perform good deeds will be eternally rewarded in Heaven. Those
who reject faith in God will be eternally punished in the fire of Hell.
6.
Belief in Destiny and Divine Decree: Muslims believe that since God is the
Sustainer of all life, nothing happens except by His Will and with His full
knowledge. This belief does not contradict the idea of free will.
God does not force us, our choices are known to God beforehand because His
knowledge is complete. This recognition helps the believer through
difficulties and hardships.
Core Religious Practice of Islam: The Five
"Pillars" of Islam
In Islam, worship is
part of daily life and is not limited to mere rituals. The formal acts of
worship are known as the five "pillars" of Islam. The five
pillars of Islam are the declaration of faith, prayer, fasting, charity, and
pilgrimage.
1.
Declaration of Faith: The "Declaration of Faith" is the
statement, "La ilaha illa Allah wa Muhammad Rasul-ullah",
meaning "There is no deity worthy of being worship except God (Allah), and
Muhammad is the Messenger (Prophet) of God"). The Declaration of
Faith is more than just a statement; it must be shown with one's actions.
To convert to the faith of Islam, a person has to say this statement.
2.
Daily Prayer: Prayer is a method by which a Muslim connects to God and gathers
spiritual strength and peace of mind. Muslims perform five formal prayers
a day.
3.
Zakah: A type of charity. Muslims recognize that all wealth is a
blessing from God, and certain responsibilities are required in return.
In Islam, it is the duty of the wealthy to help the poor and needy.
4.
Fast of Ramadan: Once each year, Muslims are commanded to fast for
an entire month from dawn to sunset. The period of intense spiritual
devotion is known as the fast of Ramadan in which no food,
drink and sex is allowed during the fast. After sunset one can enjoy
these things. During this month Muslims practice self-control and focus
on prayers and devotion. During the fast, Muslims learn to sympathize
with those in the world who have little to eat.
5.
The Hajj Pilgrimage to Mecca: Every Muslim strives to make
once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage to the sacred sites in Mecca, in present-day
Saudi Arabia. It is the most intense spiritual experience for a
Muslim. Typically, 2-3 million perform hajj every year.
Core of the Quran: Surah (Chapter) al-Fatihah
Scholars consider Surah al-Fatihah,
the first chapter of the Quran, to be the core of the Quran. It is
recited in every formal prayer in the Arabic language. The translation
follows:
"I begin with the
name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful. All praise and
thanks are for God, the Lord of the worlds. The Most Beneficent, the Most
Merciful. Sovereign of the Day of Recompense. You alone we worship and
You alone we ask for help. Guide us to the Straight Path (of Islam), the
path of those You have blessed, not the path of those who have incurred Your wrath
nor of those who have gone astray."
To listen the recitation
of Surah al-Fatiha click here
Core Teachings of Prophet Muhammad
Classical scholars of
Islam have condensed the teachings of Prophet Muhammad into a few
statements. These comprehensive statements touch every aspect of our
lives. Some of them are:
1)
Actions are judged by the intention behind them.
2) God
is Pure and does not accept anything unless it is pure and God has commanded
the faithful with what He commanded the prophets.
3)
Part of a person’s good observance of Islam is to leave aside what does not
concern him.
4) A
person cannot be a complete believer unless he loves for his brother what he
loves for himself.
5) One
should not harm himself or others.
6)
Don’t let your focus in this life be to amass worldly gain and God will love
you. Don’t be concerned with what people have, and they will love you.
Core of Islamic Law or Shariah
The core of Islamic Law
is preservation of:
1)
Religion
2)
Life
3)
Family
4)
Mind
5)
Wealth
6)
Some contemporary scholars suggest either justice or liberty to be the sixth
category.
In the vision of Islam,
they are known as "essentials" because they are considered essential
to human welfare.
In conclude, if someone
were to ask, what is the core of Islam in the fewest possible words, the answer
would be, "it is within the word Islam itself: to serve, worship, and
lovingly submit to God."
19).
Islamic Moral Education and Manners
The Qur'an and the sunnah
teach us good morals and manners. Rasullah (s) was the best example of the
teachings of the Qur'an. It is very important for a Muslim to learn about
Islamic Tahdhib and Akhlaq and follow the Sunnah as the best model.
Rasulullah (s) reminded his
followers before he died:
I am leaving you with two
things: the Qur'an and my sunnah: whoever holds tight to them will never go
astray.
Here's some important
moral education and manners down below:
After obedience to Allah (s) and His Messenger,
it is most important to be obedient to one's parents. Being polite and helpful
to one's parents is the duty of every Muslim.
Children sometimes do not realize how much their
parents have done for them. Every mother bears the pains of pregnancy and
childbirth. She often spends many sleepless nights patiently caring for her
baby's needs. If the baby is sick, parents nurse him to health. They gladly
spend their money and time to buy clothes, food and medicine for the baby and
toys to make him happy.
As their child grows, they try to provide him a
good education and a loving home. They are there for all important events in
their child's life, from his first words to his college graduation,
professional career and marriage, giving him all their love and support. Even
if he makes a mistake, they never stop loving him. Most of all, they pray that
their child will grow up to be successful and happy in this life and in the
Hereafter.
Returning
the Love and Kindness of Parents
Parents feel very happy if their son or daughter
is kind, polite, helpful and obedient. If their child is rude, disobedient or
lazy, they feel dissapointed and even embarrassed. After all, the way a child
behaves reflects on his parents.
When they become old and too week physically to
care for themselves, parents need loving care, just as they gave their children
when they were young. We should never forget that if our parents had not taken
care of us when we were young and helpless, we probably would not have
survived. We truly owe our lives to our parents, so taking care of them in
their old age
Cleanliness is a very important part of being a
Muslim. Maintaining good personal hygiene shows for oneself and for those with
whom one associates. The way a Muslim presents himself is a reflection on all
Muslims and Islamic teachings. This is why one should try to keep good habits
of cleanliness.
Allah (s) says to Rasulullah (s)
"And your garments
keep free from stain! And all abominations shun!"
(Al-Muddathir 74:4-5)
Rasulullah (s) is reprted to have said:
"(The religion of)
Islam is clean. Hence, you should also keep yourself clean. No one will be
allowed to enter Paradise except he who is clean. This cleanliness is of both
the body and the mind."
Why is it Good to be Clean?
A dirty body, dirty hair, dirty teeth, and dirty
clothes are not only unpleasent to look at, but give off a bad smell. They
offend other people. They attract lice and disease-causing viruses. The dirty
person may scratch his body which may cause sores resulting in infection. Dirty
teeth become yellow and rotten, causing pain. They may even have to be pulled
out. But, clean, white teeth and a clean body in fresh clean clothes are
beautiful. They are pleasent to experience and behold.
In the same way, if a person's mind and heart
are clean, his character is good and pleasing. But if his mind is unclean, it
is a place of bad thoughts and a souce of bad deeds.
How Should a Muslim keep
Himslef Clean?
The body: A
Muslim should try to bathe daily, if water is available.
The hair: The
hair should be washed when bathing, whenever possible. Yhe hair should always
be combed and brushed. Hair oil may be used.
The teeth: The
teeth should be brushed several times a day with a toothbrush or a Miswak.
It is reccomeneded to brush the teeth at the time of Wudu. To brush teeth with
a Miswak at the time of Wudu is a sunnah of Rasulullah (s).
A'isha (r), Rasulullah's wife, reported that he
said:
"The Miswak (tooth
stick) is a means of purifying the mouth, and is pleasing to the Lord."
The mind: A
Muslim should have a clean mind and pure heart. He should follow the guidance
of the Qur'an and the Sunnah. He should do what is good and avoid what Allah
(s) has forbidden. If a Muslim does something wrong, he shoud repent and try
not to repeat his sin. Regular prayers and fasting also help a Muslim to
remember Allah (s) and cleanse the heart and mind.
Cleanliness
for Salah
A Muslim should be particularly clean and nicely
dressed for the Salah. He is about to stand before Allah (s), the Almighty, and
must present himself in the best way possible. Therefore, cleansing oneself
through Wudu, making sure that the clothes are clean and neat, and clearing the
mind of bad thoughts are all parts of necessary purification in preparation for
Salah.
Cleanliness
of Surroundings
A person cannot stay clean if he lives in a
dirty inviroment. Therefore a Muslim should keep his/her room, his/her house,
his/her neighborhood and his/her eviroment clean. He should dispose of his
garbage according to the city or neighborhood code. He should not leave it to
blow around on other people's property or on the road. He should not use roads
or sidewalks or public places to throw waste or garbage. Following these
teachings shows respect for Allah (s), respect for our neighbors, respect for
the regulations of the society and respect for ourselves.
Keeping the enviroment clean keeps everyone
healthy and happy. If we respect nature, it will respect us and continue to
provide us and continue to provide us our basic necessities, such as fruits,
grains, water, wood, ect. However, if we abuse our nature, we will lose all
benefits it provides us. All living things, whether human beings, plants, or
animals, are the creation of Allah (s) ad as good Muslims we must respect all
of Allah's (s) creations.
We Have Learned
*Cleanliness is part of our Iman (Faith)
*Our bodies should be clean to keep away
sickness and diseases.
*We must keep all of our surroundings clean all
the time.
Kindness
to Juniors
Ibn'Abbas (r) reported that
Rasulullah (s) said:
He is not one of us who
dies without having shown kindness to our young ones and repect to our older
ones.
Therefore, an older peron
should be kind to a younger one. He should not dominate him or be harsh with
him. Instead, one should be patient with the younger persons and set a gooe
eample for them. This way, he will learn to be patient with his juniors and
also show respect to his elders.
At the same time, a younger
child should be respectful of his elder brother or sister. He should try not to
annoy him/her and make him him/her angry. When his older brother or sister is
working or doing something important, he should try to stay as quiet as
possible and not cause distractions.
It is best to remember that
mutual consideration and kindness is the basis of all Islamic behavior.
Being
Good to All People
In Islam, every good deed
is an act of charity and has a a special reward from Allah (s). Abu Hurairah
(r) reported that Rasulullah (s) said:
Enjoined on every part of
Human body is charity, every day when the sun rises; doing justice between two
people is charity; and helping a man onto his beast and leading it is charity;
and a good word is charity; and removing harmful things from the road is
charity.
From this, we can see that
a Muslim should try to be helpful and kind to all people, even if it is only by
saying a good word. Sometimes, thismay be difficult, because some people are
not always nice to you. At such times, you should remember that you will
recieve the reward for an act of kindness from Allah (s), and that He is watching
all your efforts.
The people who return evil
with good are especially liked by Allah (s). The Qur'an teaches us that a good
act always wins out in the end. The Qur'an teaches us:
Be Kind, as Allah has been
kind to you.
(Al-Qasas 28:77)
We Have Learned:
* We must show kindness and
mercy to those who are younger than us.
*We must show consideration
and respect to those whoa re older than us.
*Rasulullah (s) taught us
that all good deeds are acts of charity.
The Boy who Cried Wolf
There was once a boy who was sent to guard his
father's sheep outside his village. One day, he cried out "Help! The wolf
is killing the sheep!" The villagers rushed out to help him with sticks
and guns. When they looked around, they found no wolf, only the boy laughing at
them. The next week, he again cried, "Wolf!", and again, the villagers
rushed out to him for nothing. Then, one day, a real wolf attacked his sheep.
"Help!" he shouted. "The wolf is here!" But, nobody came to
help him. He had told lies so often that even when he told the truth, no one
believed him.
The Girl Who Broke Her
Promises
Maryam had a friend named Latifah. Latifah never
kept her promises. Any time she promised to do something, she didn't do it. One
time, Maryam told Latifah a secret, and Latifah promised not to tell anyone.
The next day, everyone knew Maryam's secret. Latifah had broken her promise,
and Maryam never trusted her again. Latufah didn't keep her friends for long,
because she always broke her promises. Even when she would swear by Allah (S)
nobody believed her. Soon, Latifah was very lonely.
The Lesson of These Stories
It is very important to be truthful and to keep
promises. Nobody likes a liar. Nobody trusts a person who breaks promises.
Liars and untrustworthy people soon find they have no friends.
Rasulullah's (s) Example
Rasulullah (s) was a very truthful and trustworthy
person. Even before he was called by Allah (S) to be His Messenger, people
liked his honest character. They even called him "Al-Amin", which
means, "The Trustworthy", and As-Sadiq which means the "Truthful
One."
Rasulullah (S) is also reported to have said:
If anyone is pleased to
love Allah (S) and His Messenger, or rather to have Allah (s) and His Messenger
love him, he should speak the truth when he says anything, and fulfill his
trust when he is in position of trust.
What the Qur'an Says About
Truthfulness and Trustworthiness
The Qur'an tells us to be truthful and
trustworthy in many places. For example:
And cover not Truth with
falsehood, nor conceal the Truth when ye know (what it is)
(Al-Baqarah 2:42)
O you who believe! Fulfill
(all) obligations.
(Al-Ma'idah 5:1)
O you who believe! Why say
you that which you do not? Grieviously hateful is it in the sight of Allah that
you say that which you do not.
(As-Saff 61:2-3)
A Muslim must stop himself from telling lies.
One lie often leads to others, Sooner or later, when the truth comes out, the
only one hurt is the liar himself. A Muslim must make sure that whenever he
makes a promise, he keeps it to the best of his ability. Only then will the
others respect him and trust his word.
We Have Learned
*A true Muslim is one who does not lie or break
promises.
*People who lie all the time soon find
themselves in trouble.
*Telling the truth gains the love of Allah (s)
and the respect of others.
Modesty is purity of intention in all actions. A
modest or humble person does good deeds without trying to get noticed or show
off. The opposite of modesty and humility is pride.
Modesty and Islam
As you may recall, Rasulullah (s) said:
"Actions are judged by their intentions." Since modesty means purity
of intention, it is also an essantial aspect of Islamic Tahdhib. It
is reported that Rasulullah (s) said:
Every religion has its
special characteristics: the characteristic of Islam is modesty.
Basic to a Muslim's faith is the blief that the
Supreme Creator of all things is Allah (s), and human beings are only a small
part of His creation. By accepting thst Allah (s) is Almighty, and we are His
servants, every Muslim is bound to humility and modesty. Rasulullah (s) said:
Modesty is part of faith,
and faith leads to Paradise.
Showing-off Versus Being
Modest
No one likes a show-off. Show-offs want
recognition for everyhting they do. They think that they are better than the
others and try to make others feel inferior. More than anything, they want to
be admired. But, even when people pay attention to them, in their hearts, they
do not admire them. They may envy them for their wealth, good looks,
intelligence, ect., but they do not like them.
People take pride in different things. Some
people are proud of being the son or daughter of an important person. Some
people may be proud of being rich. Others may be proud of being beautiful.
Still, others may be proud of being intelligent.
Good heritage, wealth, beauty, and intelligence
may be all wonderful qualitites, but one should not lose sight of fact that
everything he has is a gift of Allah (s). Bragging shows ingratitude to Allah
(s). Indeed, as easily as He gives His bounties, He can just as easily take
them away.
Why Do People Dislike
Show-offs?
If a person has admirable qualities, they shine
through his behaviour. Boasting about one's own qualities diminishes their
value. Instead of winning admiration, people may resent such a person. It is
the person who queitly does good works that accomplishes the most earns and
respect.
Sometimes, people do good deeds, such as giving
charity or offering extra fasts, and brag to others what good Muslims they are.
Such people are not seeking Allah's pleasure, they are seeking the acceptance
and praise of others. Unfortunately, in doing so, they may win admiration of
others, but they are losing the reward for the Hereafter. According to
Rasulullah (s), on the Day of Judgement, among the seven types of people Allah
(s) will take under his protection, the person who acts in accordance with the
following Hadith:
He is most charitable who
gives so secretly that his left hand not know what his right hand has given.
A Muslim's View of Himself
A true Muslim knows that everything he has is a
gift from Allah (s): birth, beauty, wealth, intelligence, ect. A true Muslim is
grateful to Allah (s) for all he has been given. He has nothing to be proud of,
but instead, he has much to be thankful for. Therefore, he tries to use what
Allah (s) has given him to lead a decent, Islamic life. He knows thst Allah (s)
sees everything he does, and so, he remains humble before Allah (s) and modest
before other people.
We Have Learned:
*Modesty is a major characteristic of Islam.
*A Muslim knows that everything he or she has is
a gift from Allah (s).
*There are many reasons which may make us want
to show off to others, but we shouldn't.
One day, a man met Rasulullah (S) and asked him
to give him the most important rule of behaviour. It is reported that
Rasulullah (s) replied:
"Do not be
angry," and he repeated this several times.
Rasulullah (s) reapeated his avice to emphasize
how important it is to control anger. He was known to be very patient and calm,
never letting anger rule his actions or words. This is one of the reasons why
his followers felt so comfortable with him. Even the disbelievers respected him
for his great patience.
The Harm of Anger
Anger is probably the most destructive human
emotion. Often, when a person gets angry, he can say and do things he may live
to regret. He loses self-control. Out of frustration, he may shout, curse, and
say awful things. He could hurt or even kill someone in extreme circumstances.
When a person gets angry, he can do irreparable damage to himself and others.
Anger is another trap from the Shaytan to break
our faith. Rasulullah (s) warned:
"Anger comes from the
Shaytan; the Shaytan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with
water; so when one of you becomes angry he should perform Wudu"
We msut be careful to control our anger and not
let our anger control us.
How to Control Anger
Anger is a natural emotion. Certain situations
can make anyone angry. However, one must know how to express anger in a
constructive rather than destrucyive way. The best way is to stop and think
about what you are about to do before you lose control. Then, try to convey
your feelings calmly. You will find that you can make your pojnt more
effectively this way.
Rasulullah (s) gave the following advice in
regards to controlling anger.
When one of you is angry
while standing, let him sit down; and if his anger goes away (it is good);
otherwise let him lie down.
When you learn to control your anger, you feel
better about yourself, and others feel more comfortable around you.
A Strong Person Controls
his Anger
According to a Hadith, Rasulullah (s) asked his
Sahabah (r):
"Who do you think is
strong or powerful?"
They replied "He who
throws people down."
"No," said
Rasulullah (s), "It is he who controls himself when he is angry."
Truly, it takes a great deal of inner-strength
to control one's anger, because many times, it arises so suddenly that it takes
us by suprose. This is why we should be aware of situations that can make us
angry. Similarly, we should avoid doing anything to anger others.
Allah (s) Rewards Those Who
Control Their Anger
Allah (s) has promised that on Day of Judgement,
He will reward those who do not let their anger rule their actions. Rasulullah
(s) said:
"Whoever controls his
anger, while he hsa the power to show it, Allah (s) will call him on the Day of
Resurrection before all creation, and reward him greatly."
The Qur'an promises that those who control their
anger are among those whom Allah(s) loves:
Those who spread generously
in ease and in difficulty, and those who control their anger, and are forgiving
toward people: Surely Allah loves those who do good.
We Have Learned
*Anger sometimes leads to many acts that one
regrets later
*Rasulullah (s) gave us his advice on how to
control anger.
*Allah (s) loves and rewards those who control
their anger.
Backbiting and Cursing
Preventing Jealousy
Stealing
Cheating
20).
Islamic Morals and Manners:
Islamic Morals and Manners
21).
Morality
and Ethics in Islam
slam is a comprehensive way of life, and
morality is one of the cornerstones Islam. Morality is one of the
fundamental sources of a nation’s strength, just as immorality is one of the
main causes of a nation’s decline. Islam has established some universal
fundamental rights for humanity as a whole, which are to be observed in all
circumstances. To uphold these rights, Islam has provided not only legal
safeguards, but also a very effective moral system. Thus, whatever leads
to the welfare of the individual or the society and does not oppose any maxims
of the religion is morally good in Islam, and whatever is harmful is morally
bad.
Given its importance in
a healthy society, Islam supports morality and matters that lead to it, and
stands in the way of corruption and matters that lead to it. The guiding
principle for the behavior of a Muslim is “Virtuous Deeds”. This term
covers all deeds, not only acts of worship. The Guardian and Judge of all
deeds is God Himself.
The most fundamental
characteristics of a Muslim are piety and humility. A Muslim must be
humble with God and with other people:
“And turn not your face
away from people (with pride), nor walk in insolence through the earth.
Verily, God likes not each arrogant boaster. And be moderate (or show no
insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of
all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass.” (Quran 31:18-19)
Muslims must be in
controls of their passions and desires.
A Muslim should not be
vain or attached to the ephemeral pleasures of this world. While most people
allow the material world to fill their hearts, Muslims should keep God in their
hearts and the material world in their hand. Instead of being attached to
the car and the job and the diploma and the bank account, all these things
become tools to make us better people.
“The Day whereon neither
wealth nor sons will avail, but only he (will prosper) that brings to God a
sound heart.” (Quran: 26:88-89)
Principles of Morality in Islam
God sums up
righteousness in verse 177 of Surat Al Baqarah:
“It is not righteousness
that you turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness (the
quality of ) the one who believes in God and the Last Day and the Angels, and
the Book, and the Messengers; who spends of his wealth, in spite of love for
it, to the kinsfolk, to the orphans, to the needy, to the wayfarer, to those
who ask and for the freeing of slaves; and who is steadfast in prayers, and
gives Zakah (Alms); and those who fulfill their covenants which they made; and
who are patient and perseverant in poverty and ailment and throughout all
periods of fighting. Such are the people of truth, the pious.”
This verse teaches us
that righteousness and piety is based before all else on a true and sincere
faith. The key to virtue and good conduct is a strong relation with God,
who sees all, at all times and everywhere. He knows the secrets of the hearts
and the intentions behind all actions. Therefore, a Muslim must be moral
in all circumstances; God is aware of each one when no one else is. If we
deceive everyone, we cannot deceive Him. We can flee from anyone, but not
from Him. The love and continuous awareness of God and the Day of
Judgment enables man to be moral in conduct and sincere in intentions, with
devotion and dedication:
“Indeed, the most
honorable among you in the sight of God is the most pious.” (Quran 49:13)
Then come deeds of charity
to others, especially giving things we love. This, like acts of worship,
prayers and Zakah (mandatory alms), is an integral part of worship. A
righteous person must be reliable and trustworthy.
Finally, their faith
must be firm and should not wane when faced with adversity. Morality must
be strong to vanquish corruption:
“And God loves those who
are firm and steadfast.”
Patience is often
hardest and most beautiful when it’s against one’s own desires or anger:
“And march forth toward
forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the
earth, prepared for the pious. Those who spend (in the way of God) in
prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon people; verily,
God loves the doers of the good deeds.” (Quran 3:133)
These three acts are
among the hardest things for most people, but they are also the key to
forgiveness and to paradise. Are they not the best, those who are able to
exercise charity when they are in need themselves, control when they are angry
and forgiveness when they are wronged?
This is the standard by
which actions are judged as good or bad. By making pleasing God the
objective of every Muslim, Islam has set the highest possible standard of
morality.
Morality in Islam
addresses every aspect of a Muslim’s life, from greetings to international
relations. It is universal in its scope and in its applicability.
Morality reigns in selfish desires, vanity and bad habits. Muslims must
not only be virtuous, but they must also enjoin virtue. They must not
only refrain from evil and vice, but they must also forbid them. In other
words, they must not only be morally healthy, but they must also contribute to
the moral health of society as a whole.
“You are the best of the
nations raised up for (the benefit of) men; you enjoin what is right and forbid
the wrong and believe in God; and if the followers of the Book had believed it
would have been better for them; of them (some) are believers and most of them
are transgressors.” (Quran: 3:110)
The Prophet, may the
mercy and blessings of God be upon him, summarized the conduct of a Muslim when
he said:
“My Sustainer has given
me nine commands: to remain conscious of God, whether in private or in public;
to speak justly, whether angry or pleased; to show moderation both when poor
and when rich, to reunite friendship with those who have broken off with me; to
give to him who refuses me; that my silence should be occupied with
thought; that my looking should be an admonition; and that I should command what
is right.”
22).
Akhlaq, Islamic Behavior, Good Conduct, Morality, Good
Manners, Islamic Etiquette:
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23).
NORMS AND VALUES IN ISLAM:
NORMS AND
VALUES IN ISLAM
Prof. Dr. Ahmet Akgunduz
Rector of
the Islamic University of Rotterdam
There
is a continuing international debate around the world in general and in the
Netherlands in particular. There are
a lot of views and opinions about globalization of norms and
values. The Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende intents to establish a
commission to discuss about the norms and values. We
hear the speakers of each religious, political or ideological group profess
that their religion, group or ideology, which has a contribution to existing
values and norms. So I can imagine that a lot of people wonder in
this country about possible contribution of Islam to the existing norms and
values What are the basic values of Islam that afford strength to the structure
of society, its foundation, and progress? Does it have principles and aims
which it specifies from the point of view of the social structure and human
relations? Does it take moderation, positive action, tranquility and peace in
social life as its basis, or is its aim enmity, blood, and revenge?
Let’s forget the negative
publicity of the last months around Islam and everything, which has to do with
Islam, because it’s temporary, in my opinion, let’s hope as it is at least. Of
course only to hope is not enough, we have to take actions in order to
establish or continue the harmony. The Netherlands has a long common history
with the world of Islam. Islam has been a scientific study-field of the Dutch
academic world for centuries. Both facts have to do with the presence of the
Netherlands in the present Indonesia.
The Central Office for the
Statistics has figured out that on the first of January 2002, there are around
900.000 Muslims in the Netherlands. In Amsterdam, Islam is the biggest religion
with 13% in the same year. It has nothing to do with a high percentage of
conversion, but with the presence of Muslim minority groups since the sixties.
The current situation and
the future of this arbitrary composed Muslim-society in a secular state like
the Netherlands is continuously a topic of the Dutch public, politics and
media. A lot of problems around this topic are discussed daily. Unfortunately,
the Muslim minority is not emancipated enough, therefore the positive
contribution of Islam and Muslims to the norms and values in the Netherlands is
also not clear or not in progress yet, although Islam, like other religions,
can provide a certain contribution to the harmony and peace.
I will try to expound the
view of Islam about norms and values, and discuss which of these values can be
useful in this society. The fact that the norms and values are discussed
nowadays gives me occasion to research if it has to do something with fading
away of the religious factors.
First, we have to make a
distinction between religions and followers. For example, while it is
obligatory that all attributes of all Muslims should be Muslim, in the reality
it is not always thus. We should not refer to Islam all bad or good attributes
of Muslims every time.
I-
ISLAMIC VALUES CAN BE DIVIDED IN THREE GROUPS
These basic values and
needs which define the foundations for good individual and social life, are
classified into three levels, or hierarchy, namely (1) necessities (dharuriyyat);
(2) convenience (hajiat); and (3) refinements (kamaliat). In the
legal theory (usul al fiqh) of Islam there is a maxim "the general aim of
legislation” in Islam is to realize values through protecting and guaranteeing
their necessities (al dharuriyyat) as well as fulfilling their importance (al
hajiyyat) and their embellishments (tahsiniyyat). The human basic values
consist of life (al nafs), reason (al 'aql), descent (nasab), property (al mal)
and religion (al din). Islam protects these primary human values, and prohibits
any violation of them.
1. Five Basic Values for All
Mankind
According to Islam there
are five basic values for humanity, which are advised to be protected
every time. Depending on circumstances to build up harmony and universal peace,
advises to preserve the five basic values at the lowest level or the barest
minimum for an acceptable level of living. These basic values therefore
includes the ability to perform moral responsibilities; protection of life,
securing food, clothing and shelter, education, the right to earn a living, to
set up a family, etc. It is to be understood that at this level, one has enough
to live but not necessarily to be in some comfort. Islam preaches to that a
human being cannot live without these basic values. Individuals and states are
advised to protect or at least to respect these basic values.
A) Life (Physical Self): This includes basic items such as
food, clothing, shelter, transport, health etc. In other words, physical self
means all those that could provide a healthy body to lead a purposeful life.
Islam, holds the human soul in high esteem, and considers the attack against
innocent human beings a grave sin, this is emphasized by the following Qur'anic
verse: “... whoever kills a human being for other than manslaughter or
corruption and mischief in the earth, it shall be as if he had killed all
mankind, and whoever saves the life of one, it shall be as if he had saved the
life of all mankind. Our messengers came unto them of old with clear proofs (of
Allah's Sovereignty), but afterwards lo! Many of them became prodigals in the
earth” (the Qur’an, 5: 32). In fact, Muslims serve for life, not for death.
In Islam and other religions, all men are equal, regardless of color, language,
race, or nationality.
Internationalized crimes
are threatening life like drug trafficking and the trafficking of women and
children which became much more difficult to control today because of their
international character. Like crime, disease has also become globalizes and
threatens the life. AIDS is one of those epidemics spreading in the world,
which can only be brought under control through a global effort. The porous
borders of today's world have made it all the more difficult to check all kinds
of contagious disease.
B)
Religion: Religion is considered as a basic value or fundamental right
of every individual. One is free to practice the religion of his choice. There
should not be any compulsion in choosing one's religion, nor obstruction to
practice it. The religion is for providing guidance, peace, tranquility,
comfort and purpose in life. The religion is for teaching man to uphold truth,
justice, and all the virtues. The religion is for teaching man to avoid the
vices. There is no coercion in Islam; Islam came with the just word of our
creator. In Quran 2:256; God said "Let there be
no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error...”
According to many scholars,
religion will be one of the prime factors of the 21st Century. Huntington, in
his theory The Clash of Civilizations" analyzed the
present international conflicts in terms of clash of civilizations -conflict
between the two cultures two civilizations -Islamic and Western civilizations.
But this is not true.
In the world of humanity,
from the time of Adam up to now, two great currents, two lines of thought, have
always been and will so continue. Like two mighty trees, they have spread out
their branches in all directions and in every class of humanity. One of them is
the line of prophet-hood and religion, the other the line of philosophy in its
various forms. Whenever those two lines have been in agreement and united, that
is to say, if the line of philosophy, having joined the line of religion, the
world of humanity has experienced a brilliant happiness and social life.
Whereas, when they have become separated, goodness and light have been drawn to
the side of the line of prophet-hood and religion.
C) Intellect or Knowledge (Al Aql): The intellectual nature
of man is made up of mind or intelligence or reasoning power. To this aspect
Islam pays extraordinary attention and builds the intellectual structure of man
on most sound foundations. Islam classifies knowledge into two, the basic or
fundamental which must be secured by every individual and the specialized
knowledge which should be secured by only a few in a society.
D) Family
Life and Offspring (Al Nasab): In a time when values tend
to be turned upside down, family life as the very heart of society was attacked
just as much as many other handed-down traditions. About ten years ago, when it
become fashionable for young torchbearers to live in "communities",
share and children and earnings, many people feared that this might mean
the end of family life. Fortunately, this is not so. In the end, the
overwhelming majority of young women still dream of having a wedding ring on
their finger, living in a comfortable flat as "Mrs. So-and-so" and
bringing up their children in an orderly home, just as young men prefer to
introduce "her" with the words" "This is my wife".
Neither socialism nor any other "isms" were able to uproot what has
been implanted into human nature from time immemorial.
E) Wealth
(Al Mal): Wealth is obviously a fundamental human value. White-collar
crimes such as money laundering, embezzlement and corruption "transcend
frontiers and have become similar everywhere" and threatening this value.
Due to the globalization process, the maximum wealth of the world is now
accumulated in few hands. Less than one billion people now possess 79% of the
total wealth and 11.2% people are controlling 62.5% income of the world. US
(4.6% population) are getting 25.7% of the world income, which is 26% of the
total wealth. Unfortunately the total income of the whole Muslim world (total
population 20.5%) is only 3.5% and they control only 5.3% of the world trade.
There is erosion in this
value. The immoral character of the global economy is becoming even more
apparent in yet another sphere. Globalization, aided and abetted by the removal
of national controls over cross-border financial flows and the computer
revolution, has resulted in short-term capital entering and exiting markets at
lightning speed. Because this capital is as massive as it is volatile, it is
capable of wreaking havoc upon an economy, which may not have the mechanisms to
deal with it. The dramatic outflow of capital from the region, triggered off to
a large extent by currency speculation, has had a devastating impact upon
undeveloped countries’ economies. Millions of women and men have lost their
jobs; millions more are struggling to survive as hunger and poverty ravage home
and hearth. It is not just the tragic consequences of capital volatility that
religion would regard as a blot on the human conscience.
2. Secondary Values:
Conveniences (al hajiyyat)
Conveniences comprise all
activities and things that are not vital to preserve the five foundations, but
rather, are needed to remove difficulties or impediments in life. Examples
include the use and enjoyment of things that man can do without, but with
difficulty, such as the use of some mode of transport (a car), a carpet in
winter, etc.
3. Luxury Values:
Refinements (al tahsiniyyat)
This category includes
items that are beyond those for convenience. They do not only remove difficulty
but improve the comfort. For example, if a car is considered as an item of
convenience, than a chauffeur-driven car is obviously a refinement.
II-
ISLAMIC NORMS
Islam has paid great
attention to norms, which can protect basic values. We can’t explain all
Islamic norms relating to basic values, which we have mentioned above. But we
would like to mention five important norms here as examples:
1. Self Interest vs
Selfsacrifice
While the present economic
order, right from a small level player to Trans National Companies, is
self-centered, Islam advocates the concept of selfsacrifice. It accepts that
secret of progress lies in self-sacrifice, and in holding the nation's benefit
above personal benefits. Every Muslim should expend all his effort and energy
for the society he belongs to. Such efforts of his would be rewarded by Allah
not only in this world but hereafter also. 'Should I die, let my community
live, for I have an everlasting life in my community’.
2. Extravagance vs
Frugality
The present economic world
order generates profit as well as consumer in a cyclic manner. It has produced
a society, which believes and practices a wasteful or extravagant life-style
and considers it their right to "use" because they "have"
it. This is in total contrast to Qur’anic model of modesty, simplicity and
frugality.
The All-Compassionate
Creator desires THANKS in
return for the bounties He bestows on mankind, while wastefulness is contrary
to thanks, and slights the bounty and causes loss. Frugality, however, shows
respect for the bounty and is profitable. Yes, frugality is both a sort of
thanks, and shows respect towards the Divine mercy manifested in the bounties,
and most definitely is the cause of plenty.
3. Greed vs Contentment:
"Excess and
wastefulness lead to greed, and greed has three consequences:" The First is
dissatisfaction. As for dissatisfaction, it destroys endeavor and enthusiasm
for work, and causes the dissatisfied person to complain instead of giving
thanks, and makes him lazy. Such a person abandons possessions which though few
in number are licit and seeks possessions which are illicit and free of
trouble. And he sacrifices his self-respect on that way, and even his honor.
The Second Consequence of Greed is disappointment
and loss. The greedy person drives away what he wishes for, is found
disagreeable, and is deprived of assistance and help. He even confirms the
saying: 'The greedy person is unsuccessful and suffers loss.' The Third Consequence:
Greed destroys sincerity and damages actions in regard to the Hereafter. For if
a God-fearing person suffers from greed, he will desire the regard of others.
And someone who considers the regard of others cannot have complete sincerity.
This consequence is extremely important and worth noticing.
Excess and wastefulness
leads to lack of contentment. And lack of contentment destroys enthusiasm for
work; it causes laziness, opens the door to complaining about life, and makes
the dissatisfied person complain continuously.
4. Generalizing a Crime vs
Personality in Criminal Law
The “fundamental norm” in
Islam that is explained the Qur'anic verse: ‘No bearer of burdens can bear the
burden of another’ which he used in its meaning of “No one is answerable for
another’s faults or errors’. One of the most basic principles of “some human
politics”, was “Individuals may be sacrificed for the good of the nation and
society. Everything may be sacrificed for the sake of the country.” This
“fundamental human law” had resulted in appalling crimes throughout history,
including the two World Wars this century, which had “overturned a thousand
years of human progress”, and had given the license for the annihilation of
ninety innocents on account of ten criminals. Whereas the verse taught the principle
that no one was responsible for another’s crimes. And no innocent person could
be sacrificed without his consent, even for the whole of humanity. It
establishes true justice for mankind.
We must not forget what the
Qur’an states: "Namely, that no bearer of burdens can bear the burden
of another" (6: 164). There is a universal rule of law: No one can be
punished without evidence. Another important rule: Freedom from guilt is
principal, i.e. everybody is innocent unless the opposite is proved. The Prophet
is reported to have said, "A believer remains within the scope of his
religion as long as he doesn't kill another person illegally."
5. Peace and Forgiveness
In first step, Islam treats
of peace in the eschatological sense, as the ultimate goal of
human life, almost synonymous with salvation. A second way in which the Islam
looks at peace might be called the psychological sense, as
tranquility and peace of mind, an inner confidence born of faith that enables
the religious believer to face adversity without anxiety or despair.
Particularly when one is facing the approach of death, the believer can attain
a peace of mind, which will enable the person to overcome spiritual turmoil and
fear. A third aspect of peace is universal peace. It
reflects the widespread conviction of the time that humankind can sink no lower
in criminality towards its own kind and expresses the hope for a time of peace
and prosperity for all mankind. According to Sayings for our Prophet, the
virtues of civilization will prevail, the face of the earth cleaned of filth,
and universal peace be secured.
Islam commands that “one
believer should not be vexed with another believer for more than three days,”
and that so long as there is no reconciliation, both sides perpetually suffer
the torments of fear and revenge.” Islam advices us like that: ‘Look
at the defect in your own soul that you do not see or do not wish to see.
Deduct a share for that. As for the small share which then remains, if
you respond with forgiveness, pardon, and magnanimity, in such a way as to
conquer your enemy swiftly and safely, then you will have escaped all sin and
harm.’ Thus, self-awareness should lead to repentance, repentance to
forgiveness, forgiveness to reconciliation and the seeds for a lasting peace are
laid.
CONCLUSION
Religion in general and
Islam in particular can play positive role in reviving common values for
mankind and uniting people for justice and equality, particularly the weaker
sections.
Today, people should
interact with each other much more than the past. There should be cultural
exchanges and greater understanding of other values and norms. Within each
cultural and national values and norms there should be universal attempt to
address problems of social inequalities, gender inequalities and human rights.
We must work for global solidarity, and struggle against injustice and for the
protection of human rights. Global solidarity is necessary for the protection
of the environment, to respond to natural calamities and to tackle poverty. For
all these concerns, one needs an international perspective and outlook, which
overcomes the narrow nationalist outlooks, which are inadequate to address
global environmental concerns, concerns for common values, human rights and
gender inequalities. Addressing issues of violations of human rights, gender
inequalities and environment go beyond boundaries and over ride nationalist
concerns.
I can declare here, on the
contrary of some pretexts about Islam and Muslims, Islam attaches great
importance to the health and moderation of the social structure, and works to
establish general peace and well being. It does not countenance at all
movements that are destructive and divisive. It sees positive action as a duty
and mark, and does not permit negative action. It makes firm love and
brotherhood in the structure of society, and puts forward the necessity of
union and unity. It rejects decisively movements, which destroy the common
values and sincerity between members of society, like tribalism, racialism, and
negative nationalism.
24).
Islam has laid down some
universal fundamental rights for humanity as a whole, which are to be observed
and respected under all circumstances. To achieve these rights Islam provides
not only legal safeguards but also a very effective moral system. Thus whatever
leads to the welfare of the individual or the society is morally good in Islam
and whatever is injurious is morally bad. Islam attaches so much importance to
the love of God and love of man that it warns against too much of formalism. We
read in the Quran:
"It is not
righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West; but it is
righteousness to believe in God and the Last Day and the Angels, and the Book,
and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your
kin, for orphans for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask; and for
the freeing of captives; to be steadfast in prayers, and practice regular
charity; to fulfill the contracts which you made; and to be firm and patient in
pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are
the people of truth, the God-conscious." (2:177)
We are given a beautiful
description of the righteous and God-conscious man in these verses. He should
obey salutary regulations, but he should fix his gaze on the love of God and
the love of his fellow men.
We are given four heads:
Our faith should be true
and sincere,
We must be prepared to
show it in deeds of charity to our fellow-men,
We must be good
citizens, supporting social organizations, and
Our own individual soul
must be firm and unshaken in all circumstances.
This is the standard by
which a particular mode of conduct is judged and classified as good or bad.
This standard of judgment provides the nucleus around which the whole moral
conduct should revolve. Before laying down any moral injunctions Islam seeks to
firmly implant in man's heart the conviction that his dealings are with God who
sees him at all times and in all places; that he may hide himself from the
whole world but not from Him; that he may deceive everyone but cannot deceive God;
that he can flee from the clutches of anyone else but not from God.
Thus, by setting God's
pleasure as the objective of man's life, Islam has furnished the highest
possible standard of morality. This is bound to provide limitless avenues for
the moral evolution of humanity. By making Divine revelations as the primary
source of knowledge it gives permanence and stability to the moral standards
which afford reasonable scope for genuine adjustments, adaptations and
innovations, though not for perversions, wild variation, atomistic relativism
or moral fluidity. It provides a sanction to morality in the love and fear of
God, which will impel man to obey the moral law even without any external
pressure. Through belief in God and the Day of Judgment it furnishes a force
which enables a person to adopt the moral conduct with earnestness and
sincerity, with all the devotion of heart and soul.
It does not, through a
false sense of originality and innovation, provide any novel moral virtues nor
does it seek to minimize the importance of the well-known moral norms, nor does
it give exaggerated importance to some and neglect others without cause. It
takes up all the commonly known moral virtues and with a sense of balance and
proportion it assigns a suitable place and function to each one of them in the
total scheme of life. It widens the scope of man's individual and collective
life - his domestic associations, his civic conduct, and his activities in the
political, economic, legal, educational, and social realms. It covers his life
from home to society, from the dining-table to the battlefield and peace
conferences, literally from the cradle to the grave. In short, no sphere of
life is exempt from the universal and comprehensive application of the moral
principles of Islam. It makes morality reign supreme and ensures that the
affairs of life, instead of dominated by selfish desires and petty interests,
should be regulated by norms of morality.
It stipulates for man a
system of life which is based on all good and is free from all evil. It invokes
the people, not only to practice virtue, but also to establish virtue and
eradicate vice, to bid good and to forbid wrong. It wants that the verdict of
conscience should prevail and virtue must not be subdued to play second fiddle
to evil. Those who respond to this call are gathered together into a community
and given the name "Muslim". And the singular object underlying the
formation of this community ("Ummah") is that it should make an
organized effort to establish and enforce goodness and suppress and eradicate
evil.
Here we furnish some
basic moral teachings of Islam for various aspects of a Muslim's life. They
cover the broad spectrum of personal moral conduct of a Muslim as well as his
social responsibilities.
GOD-CONSCIOUSNESS
The Quran mentions it as
the highest quality of a Muslim:
"The most honorable
among you in the sight of God is the one who is most God-conscious."
(49:13)
Humility, modesty,
control of passions and desires, truthfulness, integrity, patience, steadfastness,
and fulfilling one's promises are moral values which are emphasized again and
again in the Quran. We read in the Quran:
"And God loves
those who are firm and steadfast." (3:146)
"And vie with one
another to attain to your Sustainer's forgiveness and to a Paradise as vast as
the heavens and the earth, which awaits the God-conscious, who spend for
charity in time of plenty and in time of hardship, and restrain their anger,
and pardon their fellow men, for God loves those who do good." (3:133-134)
"Establish regular
prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong; and bear patiently
whatever may befall you; for this is true constancy. And do not swell your
cheek (with pride) at men, nor walk in insolence on the earth, for God does not
love any man proud and boastful. And be moderate in your pace and lower your
voice; for the harshest of sounds, indeed, is the braying of the ass."
(31:18-19)
In a way which
summarizes the moral behavior of a Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"My Sustainer has given
me nine commands: to remain conscious of God, whether in private or in public;
to speak justly, whether angry or pleased; to show moderation both when poor
and when rich, to reunite friendship with those who have broken off with me; to
give to him who refuses me; that my silence should be occupied with thought;
that my looking should be an admonition; and that I should command what is
right."
SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES
The teachings of Islam
concerning social responsibilities are based on kindness and consideration of
others. Since a broad injunction to be kind is likely to be ignored in specific
situations, Islam lays emphasis on specific acts of kindness and defines the
responsibilities and rights of various relationships. In a widening circle of
relationship, then, our first obligation is to our immediate family - parents,
husband or wife and children, then to other relatives, neighbors, friends and
acquaintances, orphans and widows, the needy of the community, our fellow
Muslims, all our fellow human beings and animals.
PARENTS
Respect and care for
parents is very much stressed in the Islamic teaching and is a very important
part of a Muslim's expression of faith.
"Your Sustainer has
decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether
one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime, do not say to them a word
of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of
kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say: My Sustainer! Bestow on
them Your mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (17:23-24)
OTHER RELATIVES
"And render to the
relatives their due rights, as (also) to those in need, and to the traveler;
and do not squander your wealth in the manner of a spendthrift." (17:26)
NEIGHBORS
The Prophet (PBUH) has
said:
"He is not a
believer who eats his fill when his neighbor beside him is hungry"; and:
"He does not believe whose neighbors are not safe from his injurious
conduct."
Actually, according to
the Quran and Sunnah, a Muslim has to discharge his moral responsibility not
only to his parents, relatives and neighbors but to the entire mankind, animals
and trees and plants. For example, hunting of birds and animals for the sake of
game is not permitted. Similarly, cutting trees and plants which yield fruit is
forbidden unless there is a very pressing need for it.
Thus, on the basic moral
characteristics, Islam builds a higher system of morality by virtue of which
mankind can realize its greatest potential. Islam purifies the soul from
self-seeking egotism, tyranny, wantonness and indiscipline. It creates
God-conscious men, devoted to their ideals, possessed of piety, abstinence and
discipline and uncompromising with falsehood, It induces feelings of moral
responsibility and fosters the capacity for self control. Islam generates
kindness, generosity, mercy, sympathy, peace, disinterested goodwill,
scrupulous fairness and truthfulness towards all creation in all situations. It
nourishes noble qualities from which only good may be expected.
25).
Respecting Parents :
We should
always respect our parents.
Allah,
the Most High, says in the Qur’aan:
“And your
Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your
parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to
them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of
honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy,
and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when
I was small.”[14]
Narrated
Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah (may Allaah be pleased with him) came to the Messenger
of Allaah (peace be upon him) and said:
“O
Messenger of Allaah, I want to go and fight (in jihad) and I have come to
consult you.”
He
said, “Do you have a mother?”
He said,
“Yes.”
He
said, “Stay with her for Paradise is at her feet.”[15]
26).
The important of Parents:
When asked about the people who taught us the most, who were there
for us through hardships, who laughed with us during the good times, who put up
with us on our off days, most of us think immediately of our parents. And it is
true: our parents are the ones who have been with us through almost everything
in our lives. Our mothers carry us for nine grueling months before we are born,
and for at least eighteen years afterwards, our parents, to list a few things,
take care of us, teach us, help us, and provide for us financially and academically.
Without them, most of us would not be in the places we are today.
Unfortunately, however, many people do not treat their parents in
the manner they deserve. Teenagers fight relentlessly with their parents, often
over extremely trivial topics. Other young people ignore their parents, rather
spending time with their friends or online. As we get older, we tend to forget
that our parents are growing older as well, and they are pushed aside to living
on their own or in nursing homes while we start our own families. Not only is
this disregard unfair to our parents, it is also strictly forbidden in Islam.
God has commanded us to treat out parents with utmost respect, no matter the
situation we are in.
Respecting parents is one of the most significant aspects of
Islam. God says in the Quran:
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you
be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life,
say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms
of honor. (17:23)
The first decree in this verse is to worship none but God.
This is the first and most important pillar of Islam, and enjoining partners
with God is the only unforgivable sin. The order right after this is kindness
to parents. There are other major sins in Islam that could have been mentioned
here, but the one God has forbidden us against here is disrespect to parents.
We are told not to speak contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is
“oof,” and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead, God has told
us to address them with honor and deference.
The next verse tells us: “And, out of kindness, lower to
them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as
they cherished me in childhood’” (17:24). The phrase “lower to
them the wing of humility” has been interpreted as an image of the way
birds spread their wings out of protection and love for their young. Our
treatment of our parents is shown in the same way: we should be humble,
respectful, and loving towards them.
Moreover, the prayer in this verse (“My Lord! Bestow on them
your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood”) is extremely powerful,
and many scholars say that Muslims should say this after every prayer. It is
truly a beautiful prayer, as we are asking God to bestow mercy on our parents,
as they were merciful to us when we were young.
Holding one’s parents in high esteem is so important that, even if
they tell us not to obey God’s command, we are still to treat them kindly. God
says in the Quran,
But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of
which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life
with justice (and consideration). (31:15)
Even if our parents strive to make us commit the worst act in
Islam, we must still treat them with justice. There is no concept of leaving
our parents in Islam, even if they are disbelievers. To further elaborate this
point, there is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (pbuh),
narrated by Asma, the daughter of the Prophet’s good friend, Abu Bakr. Asma
once asked the Prophet (pbuh) how she should treat her mother, who was a
polytheist. The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Treat your mother well.”
While we should obviously respect both our parents, our mothers
are given special treatment in Islam. This is because our mothers carried us
for nine months, and were our primary caregivers when we were children. In one
saying of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), a companion asked him who deserves the
most good treatment and respect. The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Your mother.” The
companion asked again, and again the reply was “Your mother.” The companion
asked a third time, and once more the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Your mother.” When
the companion asked for the last time, the Prophet (pbuh) then answered, “Your
father.”
Our mothers deserve the utmost respect and good treatment, and
there is no excuse otherwise. We are told this three times over. In another
narration, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said that paradise lies under the feet
of the mother. This further reiterates the fact that our mothers are to be the
most revered and cared for people in our lives. In yet another saying, we are
told that a man did the entire pilgrimage, Hajj, with his elderly mother on his
back. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) told him that this did not even repay his
mother for a single kick the man gave his mother while she was bearing him in
the womb.
This is not to say that our fathers do not deserve respect. The
story of Prophet Abraham (pbuh) in the Quran tells us that his father was ready
to kill him for destroying religious idols and abandoning the pagan religion.
Abraham, instead of losing control, merely prayed to God to have mercy on his
father and to help him find the truth. Many youth today shout obscenities if
their fathers give them a stern lecture. From our prophet we learn that this is
never acceptable, no matter the situation.
Finally, there are many ways to fix our relationships with our
parents. First and foremost, of course, we must recall the importance our
parents have in our lives, and the various verses that remind us to be kind to
them. There are also many sayings from the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that teach
us how to act with them. In one narration, he likened caring for parents to
fighting for the cause of God, the best deed a Muslim can do in his life. In
another, we are told that smiling kindly at our parents is as though we have
done the pilgrimage to Mecca, the Hajj. We should make it a habit to do these
small things in our daily lives. Talking to our parents on a day-to-day basis,
no matter our age, is also a way to close any gaps we may have with them.
Lastly, it is always important to remember to pray for our parents. We have
been told that several people’s prayers will always be answered, and among
these is the child’s prayer for their parents.
May God help us all to be more respectful to our parents.
27).
A. Introduction:
There are many days set aside in non-Islamic societies to honour
and appreciate special people; examples of these are Father's Day, Mother's
Day, Memorial Day and Labour Day. In Islam, however, respecting, honouring and
appreciating parents is not just for a single day of the year, but rather for
each and every day.
B. Parents in the Quran:
A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his or her parents on
a daily basis. Allah mentions that human beings must recognise their parents
and that this is second only to the recognition of Allah Himself. Throughout
the Quran, we notice that parents are mentioned with appreciation and respect,
even if they are senile. In the Quran, there is a very beautiful description of
how parents are to be treated; Allah Says (what means): "And
your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good
treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not
to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or disapproval]
and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the
wing of humility out of mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they
brought me up [when I was] small.'" [Quran 17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Quran
eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognise and to
appreciate the love and care that they have received from their parents. One
such example is when Allah says what means: "And
We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents…" [Quran
29:8 & 46:15]
1. The demand for recognising parents is made more
emphatic when Allah Says (what means): "And
[recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [enjoining upon
them]: 'Do not worship except Allah; and to parents, do good…'" [Quran
2:83]
2. Allaah again emphasises in chapter An-Nisaa' that
children should be kind to their parents. He says what means: "Worship
Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good..." [Quran
4:36]
3. In Chapter Al-An'aam, Allah reemphasises that people
should be kind to their parents; He says what means: "Say:
'Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that
you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment...'" [Quran
6:151]
C. Mothers:
Although Islam recognises both parents, mothers are given
particular gratitude and respect. This can be appreciated if we reflect upon
the hardships and suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this
regard, there is a Hadeeth of the Prophet : It was narrated by Abu
Hurayrah that
a man came to the Prophet and asked him: 'Who is most deserving of my
close companionship?' He replied: “Your mother; your mother; your
mother; then your father; then the next closest to you in kinship; then the one
next closest.”
: It was narrated by Abu
Hurayrah that
a man came to the Prophet and asked him: 'Who is most deserving of my
close companionship?' He replied: “Your mother; your mother; your
mother; then your father; then the next closest to you in kinship; then the one
next closest.”
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children, even if
the parents are non-Muslims. If parents strive to convert their children to
non-Islamic beliefs, the children should not obey them, but must still maintain
goodness towards them. In this regard, Allah says what means: "And
We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him,
[increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is two years. Be
grateful to Me and your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they
endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do
not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and
follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be
your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." [Quran
31:14-15]
D. More Respect:
Islam teaches us that of the most beloved deeds to Allah, having
respect for one's parents is second only to that of prayer and is greater than
that of Jihaad (fighting in His cause). In this respect, Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood narrated
the following: "I asked the Prophet : 'Which deed is the most beloved to Allah?'
He replied: "Prayers performed on
time." I then asked: 'Which one is next?' He replied: "Goodness to
parents." I then asked: 'Which is next?' He replied: "Jihaad in the
path of Allah.""
narrated
the following: "I asked the Prophet : 'Which deed is the most beloved to Allah?'
He replied: "Prayers performed on
time." I then asked: 'Which one is next?' He replied: "Goodness to
parents." I then asked: 'Which is next?' He replied: "Jihaad in the
path of Allah.""
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his
wealth are considered to be the property of the parents: `Aa’ishah narrated
that a man came to the Prophet in order to resolve a dispute that he had
with his father regarding a loan he had given him. The Prophet said to the man: "You
and your wealth are to (i.e., the property of) your father."
narrated
that a man came to the Prophet in order to resolve a dispute that he had
with his father regarding a loan he had given him. The Prophet said to the man: "You
and your wealth are to (i.e., the property of) your father."
E. Final Remarks:
We hope and pray that all of us will respect our parents while
they are alive and after their death. One can honour his parents after their
death through the following methods:
1. Performing daily
Du'aa' (supplication) for them.
2. Giving charity on
their behalf.
3. Instituting a
perpetual charity on their behalf, such as a mosque, an Islamic Centre, an
Islamic library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, etc.
4. Performing Hajj on
their behalf, or asking someone to do so.
5. Distributing Islamic
literature on their behalf.
Let us pray to Allah that we do our best to respect our parents,
honour them, be kind to them, assist them, and please them so that we may
attain the love of Allah.
O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us obedient slaves to
You.
O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents. Aameen.
28).
Teachings of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) - How to Behave with
Parents:
Teachings of the Holy
Prophet (S.A.W.) - How to Behave with Parents
The Importance of Obedience to Your Parents
Parents are to be
treated well at all times, and The Almighty's blessings in having enabled you
to do this virtuous act, be considered as a great asset in this world as well
as in the Hereafter. The respect we ought to pay our parents has been time and
again emphasized in the Holy Qur'an. In one of the verses it is stated:
"Thy Lord hath
decreed that ye worship none but Him, and ye be kind to your parents."
(Qur'an 17:23)
Showing Gratitude towards Parents
Be grateful to your
parents. It is one of the cardinal principles of good manners and the
acknowledgement of debt. One should be grateful to the parents for all the
kindness, extraordinary love, and unparalleled sacrifices hey undergo in
bringing us up. The Almighty has decreed that when we render thanks to Him, we
should express gratitude to our parents as well.
"And we have
enjoined on man (To be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his
mother bear him. And in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), 'Show
gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.'" (Qur'an
31:14)
On the authority of
Hazrat Abu Ayub Khalid Ibun Zaid Al-Ansari(R.A.), who said: A man requested;
"Prophet (S.A.W)! Tell me the action which will get me admitted to
Paradise and keep me away from the Hell." He answered: "Worship
Almighty and do not associate anybody with Him: establish Prayer; pay Zakat and
join the ties of kinship." -(Bukhari and Muslim)
On the authority of Abu
Sufian Sakhr Harb (R.A.), who said: During his meeting with Hercules, the Roman
Ruler, the latter asked him; 'What does your Prophet (S.A.W.) ask you to do?' I
said: 'He asked us to worship only One God, and not to associate anybody with
him; not to follow the habits and practices of our ancestors; he further asks
us to perform prayers (Salat), tell the truth, keep chaste, and to treat our
blood relations well.' -(Bukhari and Muslim)
Note: "Not to
follow the habits and practices of our ancestors" means that in previous
times, people used to follow what their parents did; such as, worshiping idols,
stealing, killing, and committing other sins Because their ancestors sinned,
people assumed it was justified. The Prophet (S.A.W.) commanded them to change
their behavior and become more righteous.
On the authority of Ibn
'Umar (R.A.), who said: The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: "He who just returns
the visits of his relatives does not completely fulfill the obligation of
relationship. But he who ignores the mistakes of his relatives, forgives them,
and visits them in order to bind the ties of relationship when they are broken
does fulfill the obligations of relationship.' -(Bukhari)
On the authority of
Jubair bin Mut'im (R.A.), who said: The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: "He who
breaks off the ties of blood will not enter Paradise." -(Bukhari and
Muslim)
Note: This Hadith
preaches the person who breaks off relations with his family by not visiting
them or helping them will not go to Paradise.
On the authority of Abu
Usaid Malik Ibn Rubia Al-Saedi (R.A), who said: While we were sitting with the
Prophet (S.A.W.) a man of the Bani Salamah tribe came and said: "O Prophet
(S.A.W.)! Is there anything, I can now do in benevolence towards my parents
after their death? The Prophet (S.A.W.) answered: "Yes, by praying for
them and soliciting mercy and forgiveness towards them, fulfilling their
promises and undertakings, doing kindness to those who may be related to you
through them, and respecting their friends." -(Abu Daoud)
Note:
"Benevolence" means kindness.
Showing Tolerance towards Parents
You should always try to
please your parents and avoid deeds that may hurt their feelings, especially
when they get old and short-tempered.
In old age people do
tend to make unusual demands and claims but it should be tolerated cheerfully
without any retort in anger or frustration. It is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an:
"Thy Lord hath
decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether
one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of
contempt, nor repel them but address them, in terms of honor." (Qur'an
17:23)
Service of Parents
Parents should be served
earnestly and with sincerity; always keeping in mind the unparalleled kindness
and affection shown by them. It is the service of our parents that would lead
to our redemption and earn for us The Almighty's blessings.
Your Love and Obligation towards Your Parents
Love your parents and
this love should be regarded as an honor and means of recompense and redemption
in the Hereafter. Hadrat Ibn Abbas narrates the following Hadith of the Holy Prophet
(PBUH):
"Dutiful and good
natured children who cast one loving and affectionate look at their parents,
receive from The Almighty blessing equivalent to one approved Hajj
(pilgrimage)." -(Muslim)
When the Parents are Non-Muslims
Even if the parents are
non-Muslims, they are to be treated well and all courtesy be shown to them. But
obedience in matters of religion should be refused and they are not to be
followed if they ask you to commit a sin or an act of associating somebody with
The Almighty. It is stated in the Holy Qur'an:
"We have enjoined
on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee
to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey
them not, ye have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all
that ye did." (Qur'an 29:8)
Prayers for Parents
Always pray for your
parents, recalling their kindness and beg for their weal from The Almighty and
His Mercies for them. It is mentioned in the Holy Qur'an:
"And, out of
kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on
them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (Qur'an 17:24)
Special Treatment of the Mother
One should have special
regard for his/her mother. It is the mother that carries the fetus in her womb
for nine months and then nourishes the child with her milk. It is stated in the
Holy Qur'an:
"We have enjoined
on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain
did she give him birth." (Qur'an 46:15)
On the authority of
Asma'a bint Abu Bakr Al- Siddiq (R.A.), who said; "My mother came to
Medina from Mecca to see me, while she was still an unbeliever. She had come to
demand something from me. I inquired with the Prophet (S.A.W.): 'My mother has
come to see me and she is expecting something from me. May I oblige her?' He
said: 'Yes, be kind to your mother.'" -(Bukhari and Muslim)
Note: This Hadith has
two main points:
1.
Be kind to your parents,
no matter what their religion is.
2.
A Muslim must be kind to
other people no matter what their religion is. For example: The Prophet
Mohammed (S.A.W) used to visit his Jewish neighbors in Medina. Also the Prophet
(S.A.W) used to give charity to his poor Jewish neighbor.
On the Authority of Abu
Hurairah (R.A.),who said: A man asked the Messenger of God (S.A.W.) who amongst
his near ones had the greatest right over him, the Prophet (S.A.W.) replied:
"Your mother". He asked, "Then who is next?" The Prophet
(S.A.W.) replied: "Your mother". He again asked, "Then who is
next?" The Prophet (S.A.W.) replied: "Your mother". He asked:
"Then who is next?" The Prophet replied: "Your father."
-(Bukhari and Muslim)
On the authority of
Al-Mughirah (R.A.), who said: The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: "God forbids all
of you to disobey your mothers." -(Bukhari and Muslim)
Note: It is very
important to obey and respect one's mother in the Islamic religion for the
following reasons:
1.
A mother carried her
baby for nine months in her womb.
2.
During pregnancy, the
mother experiences great hardship. Then during delivery of the child, the
mother suffers extreme pain. Many woman die in childbirth.
3.
The mother is the one
who feeds and nurtures the baby.
4.
It is an innate instinct
for mothers to care more for their children than fathers do.
29).
All religions and all
societies have given parents an honorable status. From a purely material
viewpoint, we find ourselves indebted to our parents, particularly our mother.
She not only nourished us in her womb, but went through pain and suffering. She
loved us even before we were born. She toiled when we were totally helpless
infants. She spent sleepless nights caring for us. Our parents as a team
provided for all our needs: physical, educational, psychological, and in many
instances, religious, moral, and spiritual.
Our indebtedness to our
parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. In lieu of
this, it becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost kindness, respect, and
obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations
and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. The
Qur’anic commandments, as well as the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) guide
us in this matter. The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since
rules were laid down by divine command.
References to parents
have been made at least 15 times in the Holy Qur’an. There are numerous
traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on this subject. I will first quote
some of the Qur’anic verses here:
“And We have enjoined on
man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear
him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents;
to Me is thy final goal.” (Quran 31:14)
According to the above
verse, gratitude to God and to parents go hand in hand. Gratitude to God is
incomplete without showing gratitude to one’s parents. Since being grateful to
God is a form of ibadah (worship) which earns heavenly rewards, it can
therefore be said that being grateful to one’s parents also earns heavenly
rewards.
“Thy Lord hath decreed
that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or
more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel
them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the
wing of humility, and say, “my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they
cherished me in childhood.” (Quran 17: 23-24)
“We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she
give him birth.” (Quran 46:15)
Thus, God has enjoined
on us to show kindness, respect, and humility to our parents. We are commanded
to do this, even though they may have injured us. The only exception to the
above command is made in the following verse:
“We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents; but if they strive (to force) thee to join with Me
anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not.” (Quran 29:8)
Some of the traditions
of Prophet Muhammad, and of the learned members of his family, about our
responsibilities toward our parents are quoted here:
“Paradise lies under the
feet of the mother.”
“God’s pleasure is in
the pleasure of the father, and God’s displeasure is in the displeasure of the
father.”
“He who wishes to enter
Paradise through its best door must please his parents.”
“It is a pity that some
people may not attain Paradise, on account of not serving their old parents.”
“If a person looks with
love at his parents, God writes in his favor the reward equal to the
performance of one Hajj.”
[Someone asked, “will
this promise be good if one looks at his parents one hundred times a day?” The
Holy Prophet (pbuh) replied, “even if one does so a hundred thousand times a
day, God gives the reward accordingly.”]
“A man or woman is bound
to be good to his or her parents, even though they may have injured him or
her.”
Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq
(r.a.), the great-great-grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is reported to
have quoted Imam ‘Ali (ra) that, “disobedience to parents is a major sin.” He
also stated that, “if a person looks at the face of his or her parents with
wrathful eyes, despite the fact that injustice was done to him or her by the
parents, his or her salah (prayer) will not be accepted by God.”
According to one of the
Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is reported about the status of parents:
“God has commanded that
if anybody prays equal to the invocations performed by the prophets, such
prayers will do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her parents.”
It has also been related
that the very first words which have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The
Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are:
“I am God, and there is
no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with whom their parents are
pleased, and I am displeased with those with whom their parents are
displeased.”
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
is reported to have said: “On the Day of Judgment, my person will not be seen
by those who drank liquor, those who on hearing my name did not invoke the
blessings of God on me, or those who were cursed and disowned by their
parents.”
‘Ali ibn al-Husain (ra)
is reported to have said: “The right of your mother on you is that you should
know that nobody could endure the trouble and the conditions under which she
protected you and nourished you with the juice of her life, and tried with her
heart and soul to satisfy all your needs in relation to hunger, thirst, dress,
etc. She passed sleepless nights, suffering anxieties. She provided you with
shelter against heat and cold, and protected you from ailments. It is not
possible for you to compensate her, or thank her enough for all the services,
except that God may give you guidance for that. The right of your father on you
is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you
are a branch of the tree of his life.”
According to a reliable
tradition, it is related that a man came to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and asked
him to whom he should render kindness. The prophet told him to be kind to his
mother. Three times he put the same question to the prophet, and three times he
got the same answer. When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to
be kind to his father, indicating that the mother’s right took precedence over
that of the father.
Parents’ duties: Islam
has assigned certain duties to parents that they must fulfill. If they fail in
those, they will be questioned about it. Besides providing the basic
necessities of life, Islam requires that the parents teach their children about
the Oneness of God, the Quranic commandments, values, the Prophets and their
teachings, and the moral code of Islam as according to the Quran and the Sunnah
(teachings) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
Let us pray to God that
He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to our parents, and that we
continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and
influence we may possess. Let us also pray that we be patient, kind,
thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as we guide them through their
lives, and that we discharge our responsibilities towards them as required by
our religion, so that God may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and reward
us, both in this world and in the Hereafter. Ameen.
30).
Common Bed behaviour Do’s OR Don’ts:
1. Communication
Devices Rule: Phone & MySpace and Facebook. Don’t.
2. Staying out Late
dont
3. Hanging
Out: children can wear weird clothes, pierce their lips, teens who skip
school and do drugs. Don’t
4. Everything's a
Drama: he sobs or shouts or slams the door. Don’t.
1. Staying Aloof:
2. Addiction to Social
Media and Electronic Gadgets: don’t
3. Breaking Rules
Constantly:
4. Falling Prey To Bad
Company:
5. Over Sensitiveness to
Surroundings:
6. Lying For Self Defense:
don’t
7. Lack of Decision Making
Skills:
8. Increase in
Anger/Aggression: don’t
9. Lack of Seriousness
towards Life:
10. Frequent Use of
Swearing Words: don’t
1. Depression
– Down Way of Life : don’t
2. Drinking,
Smoking and Drugs : don’t
3. Cyber
Space Addiction: don’t
4.
Dislikes parents: don’t
5. Staying
Out Too Late: don’t
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