1).
Bullying at school video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI5sJHsDNJU
2).
Bullying at school: https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/the-law
3).
Understanding bullying; http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/bullying/
4).
Advice on contacting your child's school about
bullying:
1).
Bullying at school
1.
The law
1. The law
Some
forms of bullying are illegal and should be reported to the police. These include:
- violence or assault
- theft
- repeated harassment or intimidation, eg name calling, threats and abusive phone calls, emails or text messages
- hate crimes
Call 999 if you or
someone else is in immediate danger.
Schools and the law
By law, all state (not
private) schools must have a behaviour
policy in place that includes measures to prevent all forms of bullying among
pupils.
This policy is decided
by the school. All teachers, pupils and parents must be told what it is.
Anti-discrimination law
Schools must also
follow anti-discrimination law. This
means staff must act to prevent discrimination, harassment and victimisation
within the school. This applies to all schools in England and Wales, and
most schools in Scotland.
Northern Ireland
has different anti-discrimination law.
2. Reporting bullying
You should report bullying to your school in the first place -
or someone you trust if it happens outside school, eg in a club or online.
Tell the police if
the bullying involves a crime.
Schools - reporting bullying
School staff will deal
with bullying in different ways, depending on how serious the bullying is.
They might deal with it
in school, eg by disciplining bullies, or they might report it to the police or
social services.
Any discipline must take
account of special educational needs or disabilities that the pupils involved
may have.
Police - reporting bullying
Anyone
can make a complaint to the police about bullying but it’s usually a good
idea to speak to your school first.
If you’re reporting cyberbullying, keep a record of the
date and time of the calls, emails or
texts - don’t delete any messages you receive.
Call 999 if you or
someone else is in immediate danger.
Where to get help and advice
There are lots of
organisations that provide support and advice if you’re worried about bullying:
3. Bullying outside school
Head
teachers have the legal power to make sure pupils behave outside of school
premises (state schools only).
This includes bullying
that happens anywhere off the school premises, eg on public transport or in a town centre.
School
staff can also choose to report bullying to the police or local council.
4. Bullying - a definition
There is no legal definition
of bullying.
However, it’s usually defined as behaviour that is:
- repeated
- intended to hurt someone either physically or emotionally
- often aimed at certain groups, eg because of race, religion, gender or sexual orientation
It takes many forms and can include:
- physical assault
- teasing
- making threats
- name calling
- cyberbullying - bullying via mobile phone or online (eg email, social networks and instant messenger)
Your school should have its own definition of bullying.
11).
Understanding bullying; http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/bullying/
Understanding bullying
At a glance
How to identify and help
protect your child against bullying in school.
What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone
intimidates or causes harm to another person on purpose. The victims of
bullying can be verbally, physically or emotionally assaulted and are often
threatened and made to feel frightened.
Bullying should not be
viewed as an unfortunate but unavoidable part of school life. No child deserves
to be bullied - it's unacceptable behaviour and can have a devastating effect
on the victim. Most schools have an anti-bullying policy, so it's a good idea
to be aware of the position adopted by your child’s school.
Bullying in school can
include:
- verbal harassment - face to face, by phone, text or over the internet
- hitting, hair-pulling and kicking
- teasing and name-calling
- spreading rumours
- damaging possessions
- frightening and intimidation
- exclusion at playtime or from social events and networks
How can I tell if my child is being bullied?
Your child may not tell
you that he or she is being bullied. However, you may notice some changes in
his or her behaviour, including:
- unwillingness to go to school
- feeling unwell, often with a headache
- irritability
- anxiety
- aggression towards you or others in your family
- bedwetting
- waking in the night
- missing or damaged belongings
What should I do if my child is being bullied?
If you suspect your
child is being bullied, don’t ignore it.
Find a quiet time to
talk to your child. Explain that bullying is unacceptable and that no one should
have to put up with it. Promise to do all you can to stop it.
Make an appointment to
see your child's class teacher as soon as possible. Useful tips for the
meeting:
- Decide what you want to say and what you'd like to achieve from the meeting before you go.
- Try to stay calm even though you may feel angry and emotional.
- Don't blame the teacher - he or she may be unaware of the bullying.
- Give specific examples of how your child is being bullied.
- Ask what the school's anti-bullying policy is.
- Discuss what action the teacher will take.
- Arrange to meet again within two weeks to discuss progress.
If you're unhappy with
the way your child's teacher deals with the situation - either at the meeting
or after the school has taken action - make an appointment to see the head
teacher and go through the same process described above.
Seek outside help from a
specialist adviser if the bullying continues after you’ve spoken to the head
teacher. Information on this is available from the following websites:
What should I do if my child is a bully?
If you suspect your
child is bullying another child or other children, don’t ignore it.
A child who is bullying
others often has problems of his or her own. Try to understand what may be causing
this behaviour and think about what is going on in your own home. Bullying can
be subtle, so watch your child’s behaviour closely.
Consider the following:
- Is your child going through a difficult time?
- Does your child feel overlooked or overshadowed?
- Could your child be copying someone else's behaviour - maybe an adult or older sibling at home?
- Do other members of your family use aggression or force to get what they want?
- Are you allowing your child to use aggression or force to get what they want from other people?
Make sure your child
understands that bullying is unacceptable. Encourage your child to be friendly,
understanding and kind to others. Try to bolster friendships by inviting other
children over to your home but watch out for any signs of bullying.
12).
Advice on contacting your child's school about
bullying:
Advice on contacting your child's school
about bullying
Helpful information on what steps you can take
In the first instance,
at a primary or junior school, see the class teacher and explain your worries
in a friendly non-confrontational way. Here are some questions that we
suggest you consider:
- Ask how your child is getting on with others in class and raise any issues of conflict with other children.
- Ask if the teacher has noticed that your child seems unhappy and isolated and is being excluded from games in the playground or regularly not having a partner to work with in class.
- Ask the class teacher, or the head of year at secondary school, if he/she can keep an eye on the situation and let you know if they have any concerns.
- Ask what the teacher suggests would be the best way of sorting it out. At a primary school perhaps the supervisors could take a more active role in the playground by keeping an eye on your child and ensuring that people are not excluded from games.
- Ask the school if they would consider introducing "friendship seats" or a "buddy bench" if they don’t already, where younger children can go if they have nobody to play with. Other pupils can ask them to join their games and the supervisors can spot whether one child is on their own too often.
Secondary schools
Secondary schools may
not be aware that there are some areas of the school pupils feel unsafe, the
toilets often come into this category.
By telling the head of year where the bullying is happening, supervision can be
increased so that the bullies are caught red handed, meaning that your child
can't be accused of telling tales.
At this stage it can be
helpful to try to increase your child's circle of friends, by inviting a number of children home regularly, to forge
stronger friendships.
If bullying continues
- Keep a diary of what your child says is happening. This should include dates, times and details of the incident together with any witnesses
- Write a note to the class teacher or head of year, explaining that the problem is still unresolved and ask for their support in helping to tackle this.
- Suggest that contact between the bully and your child is monitored and limited, perhaps by the bully moving to another table or set
- Ask for your letter to be put onto your child's school file, together with a note of action taken. You can ask to see a copy of your child’s record to ensure that these have been accurately recorded although you will probably have to pay for copying charges
- Ask for a follow-up meeting after a couple of weeks to discuss how things are going
That often does the
trick, but if not, it's time to write to the head teacher, outlining everything
that has gone on, and including evidence from the diary to back up your
complaint. You also have the option of copying this to the Board of
Governors. Putting a complaint in writing is essential so that there is a
record of your concern and this puts the situation on a more formal footing.
Schools have a duty of
care, and allowing a child to be continually bullied when the school has been
alerted to the problem could be seen as a breach of that duty.
Schools have a variety of sanctions they can use including
- A warning
- Calling the bully's parents in to school
- Detention
- Internal exclusion within school
- Fixed term exclusion
- Permanent exclusion
If bullying is happening
in the changing rooms, in the corridors or playground then ask for supervision
to be increased. If the school says it does not have the resources then explain
that you are not asking for all the children to receive increased supervision,
only the bully.
Ask for a copy of
your complaint to the head teacher to be answered in writing and for a copy
of it to be put onto your child's school file with a note of action taken.
If the school asks you
to go in to discuss the matter, then try to take a partner or friend with you
for a bit of moral support. Make notes of the points you want to make
beforehand and be firm and polite. Don't get into an argument.
After each visit send a
letter to the school outlining the points of the meeting and action you have
been told they will be taking. Ask to see the school bullying policy if you
haven't already seen it. If you weren't happy with what you were told at the
meeting then say so in the letter.
You
can complain to the police if your child has been assaulted at school. Police
forces in the UK have school liaison officers who are experienced at dealing
with school-related issues.
The age of criminal
responsibility in England and Wales in 10 and if the attacker is younger than
this the police will probably not be able to do anything. However, they are often very good at warning bullies off in
front of their parents.
Attacks by older pupils may
result in cautions or prosecution, particularly if injury is involved.
It's important not to
take matters into your own hands and to confront the bully's parents. This can
lead to serious arguments. Bullying UK hears from children who are either suicidal now, or who have
been in the past on a regular basis. Some of those pupils are receiving
psychiatric or psychological help or counselling.
If your child is
particularly unhappy then take them to the doctor so that their distress can be
recorded and if appropriate, medication or counselling can be started. A letter
from your doctor to the school stressing the effect bullying is having on your child's health can also be
helpful. Some children self-harm due to the stress of bullying and signs of this could be not
wanting to wear short sleeved tops or preferring to wear trousers even in the
hottest weather. Please be aware that there are a number of very dangerous self-harm 'advice' websites on the internet and teenage
girls in particular are at risk of being targeted by adults in them.
Warning of prosecution
If your child is taking time off school you're likely to be warned you may face
prosecution unless you are teaching them at home. Unfair though it may be,
keeping a child at home due to bullying is considered to be an unauthorised
absence.
Children staying at home
in these cases are regarded as truants or an unauthorised absence and there has
been a well-publicised case where a mother was jailed.
It's a good idea if your
child is so stressed and frightened by bullying that they can't face school,
to telephone the LEA education welfare
officer if there is one available (sometimes called an education social worker). You can then
explain the situation and ask them to intervene with the school to get the
bullying stopped. The education welfare officer's role is to ensure that
children do attend school and they normally step in when a school alerts them
that a child has been absent for a short period of time but if you feel your
child may stop going to school then ask their advice straight away.
Fortunately, most
schools now take their responsibilities over bullying very seriously, all state
schools are supposed to have anti bullying policies by law. Ask for a copy of
that policy and see whether it contains anything to help you to resolve the
problem. For instance, it may lay down a procedure to be followed over complaints and explain how those complaints will be treated. Make a
note of the way in which your complaints have been dealt with and how they
differ from the way they are supposed to be dealt with in the policy.
School refusal
If your child can't face
school because of unresolved bullying, ask the LEA pupil support department or education social worker
to intervene with the school to get the bullying stopped. You could also ask
your doctor if a referral to a specialist like a psychologist for counselling
would help.
You could ask your
child's head of year to arrange for your child to have access to a particular
teacher or pastoral support so they know they have somewhere safe to go if they
feel under pressure. You could also ask whether a buddy could be arranged
for your child to help them settle back in.
It may also be possible to arrange a phased return to school where your child attends for a few hours a day to build up confidence to return full time.
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